All We See Is Sky For Forever ~ Kleinsen

Conundrum

Dear Evan Hansen,

Life is full of heartache and misery. If that sounds forward, hear me out. Those are only setbacks. Some of them can be major setbacks, and it doesn’t make anything as fun. You might be scared of what will happen in the future.

My advice? Don’t be.

We all have people who have our backs, even when we are at our worst times.

As long as you are satisfied with your goals and can identify your self worth and standards, you can do it.

I find that the less I make self depricating jokes, and notice the good things about myself more often, it starts to evolve into what you might’ve thought was impossible. Self love.

I do love myself. I love a lot of things about me. Which is a huge difference to how I felt last year.

Thanks, Jared, by the way. I know you’re reading this. I appreciated what you typed. Don’t be afraid of being affectionate. I won’t tell anyone;)

Sincerely,

          Me

The drive was going to take two days at most. This thought made Evan feel queasy. He never got carsick, but sometimes being around Jared for too long could cause you to go insane.

Another thing that Evan learned was that Jared snored in his sleep. A few hours after the drive began, Jared began to wilt, his eyelids slowly creeping down his eyes every few seconds. Finally, his head dropped against Evan’s shoulder, and he was out like a light.

This was new to Evan. None of his friends made physical contact with him like this. He liked it, but it might’ve been better if Jared were awake. You know, just.. cuddling as friends. This felt right.

But he also knew that if Jared were awake, he’d do anything to be five feet or more away from the same air Evan breathed. He wondered why Jared hated touching so much. Or showing love.

Evan supported Jared with his shoulder, and retrieved his phone from his pocket. It would be a good time to take pictures, since the sky was beginning to falter into some beautiful gradients of rose and apricot, the sun sinking right in the middle.

The trees were shadows, covering the scenery with its negative space. This looked like it came straight from a painting. Evan slid the camera button up his phone, seeing the imagery appear right onto his screen.

He took a couple of snapshots, and texted them to Zoe and his mom. He had a little voice in the back of his head urging him to take a few pictures of Jared just to tease him about it later, but he knew it was cruel.

There had to be some reason he was so reluctant to show affection. Maybe there was more underneath his constant teasing and jokes than he put on.

He knew what he was going to write about on his blog next. It would sound like another letter, when in reality, it would be aimed towards Jared.

The drive had several breaks, like stopping to get gas and such.

Jared was now devouring a Snickers bar like his life depended on it.

Evan tried not to watch, but he had a very accurate depiction of what it was looking like. Jared had chocolate smeared on his nose, added with what appeared to be a Snickers shade of lipstick messily streaked over his lips.

“Is there any way you can eat that more quietly?” Evan mumbled. “I mean, don’t take that offensively, I’m just- I’m just trying to listen to music,” he added weakly. He had a hard time when it came to coming across as direct.