Wants vs Needs H.S

Sixteen

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"For you.

I'm back for you Hanny" His hand rose to my cheek but I refused to look at him.

I wanted answers I didn't need him to confess his feelings that's not why I came here.
This took a plot twist.

Wait just because he said he's back for me doesn't mean he wants me back, right?

I brushed his hand off my face and carried on walking.

"Harry that's not what I meant, you didn't give a damn about me for how many years? You practically wanted to ruin me don't give me that bull, there's something else, there has to be?" I asked still staring forward.

He sighed.

"I tried to contact you after it all! You blocked me, I sent you letters but I never heard back from you! I tried Hannah I didn't mean for it to end the way it did!" He stops looking at me beginning to get angry.

"You never got a reply because they've not been opened.

I paused feeling guilty how hard he tried.

You didn't deserve a reply, you made my dad bankrupt for god's sake!

If you've come back for me then you're a little too late you are no friend of mine" I scoffed, pointing my finger at his chest

I'm finding it rather funny how he only decides to come back now.

"I didn't have a choice I had to! You don't fucking understand what I went through to protect you, you ungrateful bitch.

I've worked my ass off so you can have a safe life and you come here telling me I'm too late huh?"
He begins to shout frustrated by my comments.

"I'm not too late,
especially if I never left" He leans forward, whispering, a smirk appears on his face.

My phone buzzes ruining the moment.

I mean distracting me not ruining
anything, nothing at all.

Hannah, please can you come home now its getting late.-dad

"I erm, I have to go" He turn around and begin to speed walk away,
expecting him to follow me and walk me home.

Only, he doesn't.

I feel like somebody's watching me the whole walk home but I brush it off focusing on one thing.

Reading them letters.
...................................

I open my front door and run upstairs immediately whipping open my draw under my bed, chucking everything out rummaging for those stupid letters.

Then, beneath all my socks and underwear I see his hand writing on at least 6 letters.

Wasting no time, I ripped open one of the many envelopes, to find an folded piece paper:

To Hannah,
You hate me.

I know but you can't hate me more then I hate myself.

Everything's not how it seems, I didn't mean what I've done just please finish reading this letter before you ignore it like I know you will.

It wasn't me, you know that's not me, I'm a stupid 16-year-old boy who follows crowds, it might not seem like it but I'm protecting you.

I moved away not so you can't find me, so THEY can't find you.

The longer I waited with you the closer they got to knowing who you were, who you really are and where you lived.

I couldn't have that.

I love you. It was them or me.

I chose me so at least I would know the real outcome of it all and hopefully in due course be able to make it up to you and of course your family.

I'll come back for you I promise even if you don't want me, I'll make you listen you have to because I swear I can explain it all just not now.

Not when you might not be the person who opens this letter.

All my love, Hs

What was he on about 'them'?

Who are they?

Are they still wanting me?

No he's got to be lying?

He sounds so much different in this letter to how he did when he was telling me he never even loved me.

I place the letter down and opening another at random, once again not in order.

To Hannah,

I miss you, but I know you don't miss me, your sister says these letters are still piled up on your dresser.

Ignoring me ey? You never change.

It's been 7 months since I last saw you.
I asked Louis how you were he'd been ignoring me until today when he told me you'd lost weight and refused to leave your house unless it was for class.

I am sorry, so sorry. I promise I will make it up to you.

I'm doing my best to help your future.

Our future.

I have to go before I get caught writing a soppy letter to my girlfriend.
Well, if that's even what I can call you.
All my love.
Your harry.

Your harry.
My Harry.
No, not on my watch.
I scrunch the paper up and chuck it in the bin.
I'd have been angry but I held myself back, he sent this 2 and a half years ago, it means nothing now.

Of course, im angry at him for speaking to me as if he hasn't done anything whether it was his fault or not.

He hurt me.

Deciding whether to read the latest letter, the most relevant one or not I group call Millie and Sofia wanting them to witness this with me.

"hey girl what's up" Millie pipes up adjusting her camera so she can see me.

I lift up the envelopes and they both catch on. Their eyes widening.

"Is that? No, you opened them? Why?"
Sofia asks confused because of how determined I was to never open them.

"He told me to, he's been sending my dad money to pay for things for me like the camping trip." I reply with no emotion simply staring at the letter awaiting to be read.

They discussed with themselves why he would do that but I zoned out as soon as I read the first few lines.

To my Hanny,
You missed me?
Well, whether you have or not I'm on my way back.
On my way to explain to you what happened all them years ago and why it wasn't me, since you've blocked me and ignored my letters, this is the only option I have left to prove to you how sorry I am.

I mean we never broke up so your still my girlfriend, right? ;)
Jokes aside. I'm guilty, you can call the police I deserve it, but hear me out.

From Haz

I starred at the letter, disappointed he changed the 'all my love' to a simple 'from' showing me he doesn't still love me the way he used to, but then I don't love him so why would he?

How could he joke about this?
Explain all you want Hun it's not going to change the simple fact that my mum didn't speak to me for months insisting I was involved, I assumed the reason it stopped is because he started paying an income to them.

I hated myself, I was used.

I didn't leave my house until I got my job, well forced to get it.

I could never have a boyfriend without comparing it to him and his love that wasn't even real.

But what if it was real?