Dear Andy ➳ Randy [✓]

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Rye sighed, his bottom lip trembling as he closed the journal. He had been writing in the same one as Andy, and it almost made a story.

Rye knew the pain he was currently feeling was far from the amount that Andy had gone through— was still going through. He couldn't even begin to comprehend how Andy survived so long, bottling up his emotions and only having a diary to talk to.

Mind you, Rye knew he was no better. He was stubborn. He point blank refused to express anything other than positive emotions. Mostly because he didn't know how to deal with the negative ones. He didn't know how to react to feeling sad or lonely. So he reverted to doing what he had always done; shut himself away and hide his feelings.

The only person to have truly seen him at his most vunerable, his weakest was the same person he had indirectly put in hospital.

He blamed himself entirely. After reading Andy's letter, he cried himself to sleep for a week. Reading how Andy felt like Rye was playing with his feelings: how confused and embarrassed he made Andy feel made Rye's heart sting with more and more guilt everytime he thought about it.

Rye's eyes raked over this sleeping figure infront of him. His arms still wrapped in white bandages. His body covered in a thin blanket and his head resting perfectly on a white pillow.

He didn't have as many wires poking and prodding his skin now. The oxygen mask had been removed a few days ago. Yet still, his breathing was still shallow.

He looked so fragile in this state, but strangely peaceful. Rye knew he would give anything to see his crystal blue eyes.
"Rye?" His eyes flicked from Andy's body to the door. Jack, Brooklyn and Harvey were making their way inside, coats being removed.

"How is he?" Harvey asking, resting a comforting hand on Rye's shoulder as he took a seat next to him. He hadn't been able to see his friend since it happened, simply due to tour and the demand in work he was required to do.

"The same he's been for the past week Harv. Not improving-"
"But not getting worse," Jack inturupted "C'mon Rye. You know Andy. He won't give up on us"

"The reason we're in this position in the first place is because he wanted to give up. Who's to say he won't do that now?" Rye snapped. Jack sighed, rubbing his face. He hated to see his brother like this. It killed him inside.

"Is that what you want? Him to die?" Jack spoke quietly.
"No Jack. Of course I don't that isn't what I meant-"
"Then what did you mean, Ryan. Andy loves you. He loves you with his whole damn heart. That night. He screamed for you. He told you he didn't  want to die." Jack paused, studying Rye's face. Rye's eyes were squeezed shut, like he was trapped in his mind. And for the first time in a long time, Rye allowed himself to cry. He allowed his friends to see him cry.

Jack was quick to respond, wrapping Rye into a tight hug. Rye sobbed on Jack's shoulder letting out all his pent up emotions.
"I-I'm sorry"
"Don't be Rye. I know what you meant. It's Andy. He won't give up on you. I promise you"

Rye wiped his face and smiled weakly at his friends attempt to make him feel better. But his attention soon turned back to the boy he loved, taking his small hand in his own.

They sat there for hours. Jack and Brooklyn both eventually falling asleep on each other and Harvey having left to go to the studio, much to his disliking. Rye, once again, was left alone with his thoughts.

Then, he could have sworn he felt Andy's hand move.

"Fovvs?" He squeezed Andy's hand gently. But nothing happened. Rye sighed, his spirts dropping again. It must've have been his imagination. After all, he hadn't slept in a few days.

But no sooner had his heart rate dropped, it picked back up again as he felt a small, weak amount of pressure being applied to his hand.
"Andy? Can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me?" Another gentle squeeze.

Rye's heart was beating out of his chest. Was this it? Was Andy actually waking up after so, so long?
"Andy. Can you try and open your eyes for me?" Rye encouraged, squeezing Andy's hand again.

Andy's head moved from side to side. It was the most he had seen Andy move in a month.
"Jack. Brook. Get up. He's waking up. HE'S WAKING UP" Rye shouted, startling the two younger boys awake.

"He-What?" Brooklyn jumped up, rushing over to where Rye was sat, fully awake. A half dazed Jack followed closely behind him.

Time seemed to slow down. Andy's eyelids fluttered and slowly opened. He moaned, the light burning his eyes. He screwed them shut. What had happened? Gradually, he opened his eyes again, looking to the left of him and seeing the heart rate monitor beeping away. Frowning, he then looked down, seeing his body covered in a white sheet. Why was he in the hospital?

Finally, he looked right, seeing his two best friends and his crush staring at him, all three with tears racing down their cheeks. He tried to say their names, but all he could manage was a squeak. He frowned again. What was wrong with him?

"Here. Fovvs. Here's some water" A shakey voice said. Andy looked to see Brooklyn with a glass of water. He helped Andy drink the glass.

"R-Rye?" He managed out, wincing at how hoarse his voice sounded. He watched as Rye's bottom lip trembled, a hand stroking his cheek. He heard Jack and Brooklyn mentioning something about getting a nurse, but all he could focus on was the boy in front of him.

"I thought I lost you" Rye croaked. Andy took Rye's free hand in his own.
"I-I'm sorry" Andy whispered back, not really knowing what else to say.
"Hey. It's ok. You're here now," Rye said, moving his hand up to run it through Andy's hair. Andy closed his eyes, leaning into his touch. "I um. I read your letters. I'm so, so sorry And, I had no idea"

"It's ok. You didn't know." Andy said. Rye shook his head.
"I should've known. I'm your best friend. I love you so so much and I hate that I made you feel that way" Rye said.
"Rye. It's ok. I mean, I'm not ok. I won't be ok for a while. But, just promise you won't leave me?"

Rye responded by pulling Andy into a tight hug.
"Never Andy. Never again"

-X-

hehehe

this is the final chapter

i might do an epilogue...

but if you have any questions about this book or in general for me, then leave em and i'll answer them in the sappy authors note later lol

love y'alll

-Lauren xx

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