My life Story(True Story)

3 - Unknown age - Invisible friends

I don't recall exactly what age I was, when I started seeing things that weren't there. Or hearing things that nobody else could hear. Of course I must have been young, since I thought they were my friends and that everybody had one, or in my case three. I didn't have three at the start, only one of them. A girl, with dark hair and bright blue eyes that scorned you when they looked at you.

But one, soon became three and I was happy that I had somebody to talk too when I was sad. But I noticed their negativity first, that increased the more I got older. As my life turned from bad, to terrible, to downright horrific. The voices were my friends and I believed they helped me in choosing hard decisions.

It's a wonder nobody noticed how messed up I really was, but then again they thought I was just messing. Everyone did. They didn't notice my spacing outs or the random laughter that would spurt silently from me. Thoughts, that they were placing in my mind made think.. 'what was wrong with me?' . Are these thoughts ok?

The voices reassured me that they were, that everyone had homicidal thoughts. That it was natural. Of course, nobody else I knew had thoughts like that so I started to ignore the voices, embracing the warmth I got off my friends as I played with them. But now I think about I shouldn't have.

The voices went away for awhile and I believe, wholeheartedly that it was just a phase. Nothing more. But I was wrong. They appeared later on in life, stronger than ever because of what I was going through. But the voices weren't there because I was sad, no they told me that they never actually left.

That they were always watching!

That shocked me since I didn't noticed them, I do remember, thinking, that I saw them but I only put it off as a trick my eyes were playing on me.

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As time moved on and I realized the voices weren't going away this time. I asked them their names, the told me, each in their own times and privacy. I was finally accepting that they were apart of me. So I ordered them off into categories basing on their mood and tones.

1- Friday, anger.

2- Wednesday, nervousness.

3- Sunday, Fear.

4- Black, Hatred.

5- Grey, Sadistic.

Five. That's how many I have now, to this day. But I'm scared that they'll keep increasing and eventually I won't be able to differ them from fake people to real people. I'm on a medication, that's suppose to help me. But it's only helping a bit and to be honest, I don't think going back to a mental institution will help me.

Not this time.

I think I have to help myself, instead of them messing me up, more than I already am!

But how long will it take, before I break, cracking, slowly but surely into a even more closed off person than I already am.

Until, finally, I admit that invisible friends are better than real ones.