From Infinite to Kamikaze: A Novel

NOVEMBER 1997 - EM (Part 2)

Lex stood there staring at her feet as her mom walked back into the house. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She finally looked up at me after her mom had shut the door. Her arms had been behind her back. When she brought them forward, she had a wet washcloth in her hand. She sat down next to me and gently placed her right hand on my right cheek and turned my face so I was looking at her. She studied my lip. I studied her face.

"Jesus," she whispered. "Don't move," she ordered. She brought the washcloth to my face and wiped tenderly around my mouth. From the looks of the washcloth, I guess I was bleeding. I hadn't even noticed. Every once in awhile, her eyes would meet mine. Maybe she was trying to see if she was hurting me. But the truth was, I couldn't hurt when she was touching me. She only made me feel good. The only thing that hurt right now was my heart, knowing it was cuz of me that her Thanksgiving had gotten fucked up.

"I coulda handled that, y'know," she said, slightly smiling. I sucked my teeth at her and winced when it hurt my lip.

"Maaan, you and I both know she'd've whooped yo' ass," I teased. She smiled. "Man, whatever," she answered. "Dawn has zero hand-eye coordination. Especially when she's drunk."

"Alright Miss Feisty Pants. I get it. You woulda pummeled her," I smiled, using one of my goofy voices. We both laughed. I had actually been impressed that she had the balls to step to Dawn the way she did. She wasn't no punk, I'd give her that.

Under the porch light, she seemed to have a glow around her. Like an angel. God, she's so fucking beautiful. It should be a crime to be that gorgeous. I wished things could have been different for us. But they weren't. Not as long as Kim was holding Hailie over my head. And I knew I had to deal with the situation before shit got any worse.

I grabbed her wrist gently as she reached up to wipe my lip some more. "Lex." She stopped and took a deep breath before looking at me. "I gotta go," I said definitively. She nodded her head. "I know," she replied, freeing her wrist from my grasp and folding the blood-stained washcloth up. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to tell her I'd be back. But I didn't know if I would.

"I gotta at least try to fix this shit....for Hailie, y'naw what I mean?" I asked gently. She nodded again. "I'm sorry I got your lip busted. But thank you for standing up for me," she said, looking more serious than I'd seen her in awhile. "Anytime girl," I said, flashing her my best grin and then wincing again. "Um, if shit doesn't go well....you think I could come back here later? I know we was all supposed to watch that new Jurassic Park shit. Maybe I could still catch the end of it?"

"You always have a place to stay here Marshall," she said sweetly. I gave her a quick hug and then got my shit together to go see Kim.