From Infinite to Kamikaze: A Novel

APRIL 1995 - LEX (Part 4)

I hung the phone back up on the kitchen wall and smiled to myself. He's coming here! Holy fuck, he's coming here.... I looked around. The house was pretty clean since I had just tidied up but it could be better. I spent the next hour vacuuming, cleaning our one bathroom and putting fresh towels and toilet paper in there, dusting the living room, wiping down the kitchen counters, and finishing the spaghetti and meatballs. I ate quickly, packed up the leftovers, and did the dishes before allowing myself to look at the clock again. 6:30. I had maybe two and a half hours before he got here. The next hour was spent showering, shaving, tweezing, drying my hair, and picking out something to wear. I wanted to be cute but casual. I finally decided on a pair of baggy gray sweatpants that still showed off my bubble butt. The waistband of my Calvin Klein underwear was slightly visible since the sweatpants sat low on my hips. Up top I put on a black padded sports bra that made my size 32D girls have some nice cleavage. Over that I pulled on a blue, black, and white flannel button-up shirt and left it open. On my feet were fuzzy warm white socks. I left my hair down and put the slightest bit of make-up on. Just a little eyeliner, mascara, and chapstick. I wore a thin, silver chain link watch on my left hand and on the right was my simple, silver infinity bracelet that my mom had given me for my 16th birthday. "To show you just how deep my love for you goes," she had told me. Around my neck was my silver nameplate necklace and I always wore a few rings on my hands. After some deodorant and a couple spritzes of my cucumber melon body splash, I studied myself in the mirror and finally felt like I was ready.

8:00. He was getting off work now. My heart sped up a little at the thought of him making his way to the first bus that would bring him here. I lit some candles in the living room and put my favorite fuzzy fleece blanket on the couch. On TV, I flipped through the channels before settling on the movie Boyz n the Hood, which was a favorite of mine and one I had seen a few times. I muted it and put my Me Against the World cassette by Tupac into the small, black and silver boombox that sat on the table next to the couch. Then, I lit a fire in the living room fireplace. Thankfully we had plenty of logs from over the weekend. Getting the logs from the backyard was one of my least favorite chores, so I tried to make it so that I only had to do it once a week.

8:15. I had already finished my homework before he even called me. But I could probably get some more studying in before he got here. I had an anatomy & physiology test the day after tomorrow. I got out my flashcards, textbook, notebook, pen, and hi-lighter, as well as my old quizzes from earlier on in the unit. I laid everything out neatly on our coffee table along with a glass of water and got to it. I tried, I really did. For a good 30 minutes I tried to study but my mind was so incredibly distracted. What if he tried to kiss me? Did I want him to? YES! But what if he tried something else?... I wasn't a virgin as of 6 months ago. But what happened after that night made me rethink the whole sex thing. Basically, I had been a ploy for that guy to get back at his ex. Since then, I promised myself that the next guy I did it with would be someone special. That guy just hadn't come along yet. I didn't know if Em would end up being the right person. I told myself I wouldn't let it get that far tonight. But what if he tried to make it go that far? No, I told myself. He's not like that. I didn't know him that well yet, but I knew he didn't seem like that type of person at all. What if we ran out of things to talk about? I guess we could watch the movie. What if we got hungry? I was gonna offer him the spaghetti and meatballs, but what about dessert?

8:50. I had maybe 30 minutes before he got here. I decided to bake something. After rummaging in the pantry, I got all the ingredients out for chocolate chip cookies...a classic. Who doesn't like those? I preheated the oven and mixed everything all up while singing along with Pac to Dear Mama. I stuck the cookies in the oven at 9:15 and set the timer for 11 minutes. He'd be here any minute. The butterflies in my stomach told me I was starting to get nervous. I sat back on the couch and tried to refocus on studying. Ten minutes later, my doorbell rang.

A/N: I was legit getting nervous for Lex as I wrote this! I remember preparing for my crush to come over and trying to make sure every little detail was perfect, and constantly watching the clock in anticipation of their arrival. Did anyone else do this?? LOL