From Infinite to Kamikaze: A Novel

THE INTERVIEW 2018 - LEX

Disclaimer: I do not claim affiliation with or ownership of any songs, lyrics, albums, etc. 

It was the second week of these interviews and frankly I was getting tired of talking about myself. How much information did these people need? We still had so many years to cover. I used my fingerprint to unlock my phone to find the sweetest text.

SEXY MOFO: Tickets to Paris booked. Don't even think of buying me a beret ;) See you at home babe.

I smiled so hard I had to bite my lip to calm down.

"You ready?" Coop asked as he sat in his regular chair. "Someone looks happy." He had actually proven himself to be a pretty cool guy over the last couple of weeks. Talking to him was easy. He didn't make me feel judged or self-conscious. It really had become like talking to a close friend. I chugged the last bit of water in my Yeti and sat down to begin.

Anderson Cooper: "Where were you when you found out about Marshall and Kim's marriage?"

I took a deep breath. Even to this day, remembering that time period was like covering myself with a huge, black blanket and wrapping it around me so tightly that I could barely get any fresh air.

Lex: "I...was in the studio. It was like mid-June, maybe a few days after they got hitched. And I was just starting to work on my demo. It may have even been our first day. We were just in there – me, Kerry, and Kandi who would go on to help me produce my debut album – and we were just messing around with different sounds, instruments, whatever. We took a break a couple hours in and I went to the kitchen area of 54 Sound to get something to eat. So while I'm in there, you know, MTV is on in the background and I hear them make the announcement: 'Slim Shady just married the woman he raps about killing on his hugely successful debut mainstream album.' And I just...froze."

Anderson Cooper: "That must have been shocking."

Lex: "Shocking...is...an understatement. I....I can't even put into words how I felt at that moment. It was...It was like, I actually thought I might have been dreaming. When I realized I wasn't, I just....kind of shut down. I didn't cry. Not there anyway. I had spent so much time crying over the previous months that I think my body just started rejecting tears. Like they just couldn't form anymore," I chuckled. "But...my heart was so heavy because it was like the final nail in the coffin type of thing. And I really...I couldn't believe that he would marry her in the first place but to marry her 2 months after we broke up? It was....devastating."

Anderson Cooper: "What did you do? Did you call him or...?"

Lex: "What?! No way!" I laughed. "Coop! Who would do that?"

Anderson Cooper: "Okay, you're right...sorry. Maybe that's just me," he chuckled. "Continue."

Lex: "I...let myself hyperventilate for a few minutes and then I went back to the studio, just, determined to lay down song after song. And I just...wrote. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I wrote so much, I knew there would be no way to fit it all on one 6 track demo, so I started tagging songs for possible future albums. I had actually started writing right after we broke up. It's how I...coped with the loss. Cuz it truly felt like a loss...like a death. Someone who is such a huge presence in your life; who you physically need to talk to every day; who you need to see and feel in your arms on a regular basis. For that to just be...cut off instantly like that. It's like a death."

Anderson Cooper: "You say you were working on your demo. What made you want to switch from a producer role to more of an artist role? And how did you get signed to Interscope?"

Lex: "I actually produced the majority of the songs on all of my albums so...it wasn't that I wanted to make a switch. I actually prefer producing and songwriting to being in the booth. It's just...my songs at that time had become so personal that I didn't want to put them out there for anyone else to sing. So Erykah actually encouraged me to put out my own album. She heard me sing a hook from one of her songs one day and....loved it. Really, without her support I think I would've just kept those songs to myself. Anyway, by that time, I had made a good amount of friends in the industry from working with her and The Roots and Linkin Park, it wasn't too hard to get the right people to listen to my demo and give me a shot at a debut album. I met with Jimmy Iovine in September, played him A Woman's Worth on the piano in his living room and he got the contract going that day."

Anderson Cooper: "Wow, that's incredible. One of my favorite songs of yours too."

Lex: "Oh, thank you," I chuckled.

Anderson Cooper: So, you hear the news and instead of breaking down right then and there, you put all of your emotions into your songs and your writing. Did you ever think you would be able to tell him these things in person?

Lex: "Um, well there was a little bit of a breakdown, internally," I chucked. "But um...No I didn't think I'd ever tell him in person. I honestly wasn't sure if I'd...ever see him again." I choked up on those words. "He was touring that summer, The Warped Tour, and I just knew...I knew his second album was gonna blow up even bigger than the first because...I'd already heard some of it. You know? And it was just...amazing. I knew he was gonna be huge. I always knew that. He's just so incredibly talented. Plus I knew they were also finishing up Dre's album, which he was on and helped produce, and...he was just super busy. So, I had no idea if or when I'd see him again. I didn't know if he even wanted to see me, you know?

Anderson Cooper: "But he did, didn't he?"

Lex: "Yeah, he did. It took him some time, but...I guess he did."

A/N: First clue in this interview on which famous female solo artist Lex will be representing from here on out. Any guesses? This woman has so many amazing songs and I felt like they were so right to help tell the rest of Em and Lex's story. More to come soon! Happy Reading!! :)