Not As Different As They Thought

Chapter 12

Beck's POV

I pulled away hesitantly and looked him in the eyes. The eye contact lasted maybe a minute before I had to ask.

'What happened?'

He started crying again but when I tried to hug him, he scooted away. A little hurt, I went back to standing beside his bed.

'Please talk to me.'

After a minute's hesitation, he grabbed his phone and began typing slowly with his pointer fingers. Once he finished, he turned his phone around and scooted his phone towards me so I grabbed it and read what he wrote.

"I lost my only way of communicating to you, that's what happened. Assholes decided I don't deserve to talk to anyone and they were right! This is a sign. I knew I wasn't good enough for you and now here is the proof from the jackass Lord himself."

A tear slipped down my face, matching the streaks of wetness on his cheeks from all his crying earlier.

'No, don't say that! You are the best and kindest person I've ever met. If anything, I don't deserve you.'

He typed again.

"No.... I've made up my mind. I'm sorry Beck. I think you should go.."

I held in my sob. If this is what he wants. I'll respect that. And I won't let him see how much it hurts me.

I nodded and stood up to leave.

Before I closed the door behind me though, I said, 'I love you Riley.'

And then I left the hospital. I didn't start sobbing until I got into my car and locked the doors.

My love doesn't think he deserves me. He pushed me away. And I let him. Maybe I don't deserve him.

** One week later **

Riley is back in school but he doesn't do much because he can't really write or anything with six broken fingers.

Seeing him when we have class together is heart breaking. I always smile slightly at him, but he never returns it. He just looks away. It hurts.. but I'm still respecting his wishes and I'm staying away and not pushing him.

One day I actually went into the bathroom and let tears roll down my cheeks.. that was an especially hard day because me and Riley had been paired for something in math and he refused to even look at me.

I understand he feels he doesn't deserve me.. but it hurts that he won't look at me.

I sometimes catch glances at his face before he hides in his hood, and he doesn't look good. I mean he is gorgeous. But he looks tired and worn out. And like he's been crying a lot. And that breaks my heart.

** Three weeks later **
** One month after incident **

Riley's casts are off now. And we have another project for our English class.. and I'm gonna ask if we can be partners. Our teacher usually doesn't like that, but if I explain to her my reasoning.. then maybe it'll change her mind. Just this once.

It's the beginning of English class right now, the bell hasn't rang yet so I took this time to type up my question to the teacher and my reasoning. As soon as she walked into the room, I waved at her and she came over and I motioned for her to read what was on my laptop.

She read through it, a skeptical look on her face. When she finished, she turned to face me and started talking. I read her lips.

"You know I don't usually let students pick their own partners. Because otherwise it would be completely chaotic. But under these circumstances.. I suppose I will allow it."

I smiled and quick typed 'thank you'.

She smiled and walked to her desk and began speaking.

"Okay class, today you will be beginning your projects on the research of major companies. As I explained to you last week, you will be researching a company and doing an almost sort of review and explanation in the form of an essay. You will have partners because big companies can be very complex and it's always good to have more than one viewpoint. So here are the partners."

She went through the list and finally ended with me, "And the last group will be Beck and Riley. Now, after I finish explaining how you will choose your company, you will go to your partner and follow the instructions I give you. To choose companies, there is a list on my teacher website that you will look at and decide with your partner which one you would like and put your names under it to sign up for it. So I don't have multiple people doing one company in one hour. Okay, I'm done talking now. Get with your partners."

Immediately I stood up and grabbed my bag and went back to sit down next to Riley. I could only see part of his face, but I couldn't read his expression.

As I sat down next to him he put his hands in his pockets and he was just staring straight ahead. I couldn't really talk to him with him not looking at me, so I snapped my fingers a little by his head.

He slightly turned and looked at my hands so I began signing.

'I know you don't really want anything to do with me anymore.. but honestly Riley, I cannot accept that. I really care about you and I'm not letting you get out of my life that easily. I'm a stubborn asshole.' -- he smiled a little but quickly set his face back blank-- 'I don't care if we're just acquaintances.. I need to be able to talk to you.'

He hesitated a minute before taking his hands out of his pockets and slowly signing 'Ok.'

As I saw what he said, I looked at his hands more closely. Even though they were mostly healed, they still had bruises and cuts on them and I looked up to see his face and he still had some cuts on his cheeks.

I want to kill whoever did that to him.

Getting rid of those thoughts though, we made eyecontact and I genuinely smiled at him.. and he smiled back.

Not a huge smile, but I'll take it.

It still made me get butterflies in my stomach.