Again (boyxboy) (s.a sequel)

twelve

The next day, and the three days after that one, I got into the school early so I could plan for what I wanted to say to Kellin and when. I practically holed myself in my office to think in peace until I had to leave for teaching and other duties. It wasn't going so well, though, and I didn't even have the beginnings of a solid plan. All I knew was that they had a cheer competition coming up and I would talk to him then, but it was like I was wasting time now.

Talking to him at the competition was going to be hard, too. He would be on the floor, or mat, with the team and there would probably be crowds upon crowds of people there. I couldn't talk to him as easily as I thought, so I would have to come up with something else. Even when I did figure it out, what would I say to him? Apologize for not being there wouldn't cut it. I had hurt Kellin badly, and that was something words couldn't solve on their own. I needed a gesture that really showed him how much he meant to me; how much I loved him.

I put my head down and sighed. I felt like I was getting nowhere. I had a general idea of what I needed and wanted to do, but when it came to planning I was hopeless. I had no idea as to how I was a functioning adult, if you'd even call me that.

"Hello?" I answered as I realized my phone was ringing for the second time. My mind was in too many places for me to pick up on it earlier.

"Hi, is this Victor Fuentes?" I nodded.

"This is he, how can I help who's calling?" I leaned back in my chair and placed one hand behind my head. The voice on the other line sounded familiar, but I couldn't place who it was yet.

"This is Dean Carter from the university. We talked the other week about you having a coaching opportunity here at the school,"

"Right! I'm so sorry for not getting back to you. Life has been hectic for me and basketball has been taking a majority of my time," I explained.

"I understand and it's nice to see you're dedicated to your team. Your efforts show on the court and that's part of the reason we're offering you a position," Dean said. He sounded so sure that I was going to accept his offer when, in reality, I haven't been thinking about it at all. I mean, why would they want me anyway? I coach high school basketball. Plus, I had other things to worry about. What was so great about coaching college?

"To be honest with you, Mr. Carter, I don't know if I'm all that interested in coaching such a high level, let alone qualified,"

"Well, why don't you come down tomorrow and we show you what you'd be working with?" I thought for a minute. It wouldn't be bad if I went down there, I mean, it was worth checking out at least.

"Okay, but don't get your hopes up is all. I am very involved and enjoy the position I'm in now," I warned.

"Undoubtedly. Thank you, have a nice day." The phone hung up and I thought for a minute. It was an honor to be considered for such a big position, but that would mean I would have to completely change my life. The school was an hour away so I would probably want to move. I also wouldn't see Kevin and, most importantly, Kellin. It would be different and that was a change I was weary to make.

I got up and left my office for the day. I had everything with me and I was ready to go home and repeat the process of sitting at my dining room table, staring off into space and figuring out what to do with Kellin.

As I walked up the stairs I thought, too. Maybe I could get him flowers or ask the cheerleaders for help. I remember when I asked him to the dance with the entire lunch watching, maybe I could do something like that. That actually wasn't a bad idea to have the crowd know how I felt about Kellin, too. He really enjoys attention, not in a bad way, and it's important that I give him it.

I smiled to myself as I turned the corner to leave the school. As I did so, though, I bumped saw Kellin walking towards me. He had his head down as he looked at his phone and I got nervous. I haven't talked to him much because he was either busy or I didn't see him. He didn't return my texts often, just when they were asking how he was and most of the time he only said he was okay. Now, though, it was only he and I and I had time to talk to him face to face — I took my chance.

"Kellin," I called out to him and he looked up at me. His eyes met with my own quickly and he stopped in his tracks. He looked as beautiful as ever and my heart continued to pound. His skin was flushed red as he had a hat and jacket on to protect him from the cold. His lips looked a bit dry and eyes sparkled in the bright outside. All I wanted to do was kiss him and hug him, but I knew that wasn't my place right now.

"Vic," he began. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was just leaving for the day. Do you have practice?"

"Yeah, it's starting soon. I have to go." Kellin started to walk past me but I stopped him again.

"Listen, can we talk, please?" Kellin looked away. "Please. I-I miss you and I know I screwed up royally. I know it, please let me explain at least, Kells."

The entire time, Kellin's eyes roamed mine. They were as precious as ever, but they told the story of how conflicted he was. Kellin as a sensitive guy, I knew that, and he didn't let things go as easily as others. That meant I had to really win him back. I had to prove myself to him once again.

"Okay. Come over tonight at six. Then, we can talk." I nodded with a smile that stretched for days. Finally, I was getting through. Finally, I was getting a chance.

"Thank you, Kellin. I'll be there." Kellin walked past me and I watched him go with a smile. There was nothing I wanted more than for him to talk to me and I was getting that opportunity. It felt so good to be able to be close to him. I wouldn't mess this up.