November 17, 2018
She wanted to talk, I've obliged willingly, maybe my feelings have yet to deter. Our conversation was picking up after the last few times. It wasn't long umtil I heard a familiar voice. My friend, the one who lives for outdoor games and excercises. I heard the messages from him from her second phone. If I recalled, aroumd the 25th of September, she told me tried to force himself upon her. However in contrast he told me and even showed me thay she was exposing herself to him. He was already taken and yet she sent her bare chest to him. Feom.what he said, he was disgusted and horrified to the sight.
She told him that she was cuddling with no one now as I heard his reply which left a fould scar in my mood. In my head I wanted to ask him why was he talking to her, but in hindsight I turned my attention to her, scolding her. She didn't take too kindly to that.
When I asked why was she talking to someone she despised. I didn't like the answer. The one who wants nothing to do with her, wants her and others to befriend him. Why? I have nothing agaisnt him, but the incidents back then involving him has gotten out of hand. There were times where I do my best to make her happy when she breaks down, but at the end of the day....
....I'm not him....
It pained me when she told me I should not chase her due to it causing me heartache. I terms of her back in August she suggested the witch to be my partner. It dawned on me she wants nothing to do with me. I'm a living obstacle, stopping her from trying to reach him. She doesn't even know why she cares so much about him after betraying her trust and hurting her. The tigress deserves someone to return that level of care and worry to her equally.
Alas, I'm asking for way too much, or rather hoping for too much. Everyone was saying so many things about her that I now begin to believe. At this moment, we're talking. Her birthday is the first of December. She spent the day with him and two others. Not even asking for me. Now she drones on and on about him like the other days. As if he is the only man on the earth. He's a friend of mine who even agreed that she has been treating me wrong.
There was one day that her mood drastically changes when he joins our conversation. When he leaves, she returns to sounding not amused, bored.
I tell myself everyday I'm not him, even told her about how I felt on numerous occassions. The same, empty honesty. I'm better off being myself. That she loves how I'm me. Truth be told, she's treating me as if I was like her current ex. Stoking my ego and boosting my self esteem.
As of now, she's playing a game with him and his friends. Barely noticing I'm gone from the mic. I here him talking about another girl as well as taking his highschool friend out for drinks and the envy in her voice.
She was talking about another guy who was getting to know her, then complained about wanting any man that has feelings for her to take it slow. I shouldn't care since she told me to stop, but I do care.
It hurts...
YOU ARE READING
The Tigress, The Witch, and The Broken One
Non-FictionA journal that tells a tale of love most poison, choices most hazardous, heart most damaged