The Tigress, The Witch, and The Broken One

Day 60: Numbing Point

January 30, 2019

These past few days were actually enjoyable. Despite seeing my old friends on Facebook and how they're living better lives without their friends. I haven't been having dreams about the darker side of me nor the twins. Though looking at the friends I that I have yet to add, each name and memory was nothing more than a knife into my back over and over, and over again. It hurts, but at the same time it doesn't. 

I hung out with the Sportsman along with his friend for a small nerf match. Albeit, it was fun, but very muddy in the back area. With the three of us, we had some unique game modes. It was still early, but we decided to call it a day. Me and the Sportsman went to a restaurant that had pizza, and even talked about the Tigress and the Witch on how they never bothered to give me a chance, and how they are obsessed with the Reaper. I even learned that even he had issues with girls. One who was exhibiting herself to him while he was seeing someone and his past lover who was basically a spoiled brat. To be honest, I was hoping he would send the exhibitionist my way. He even suggested that I should be with the Rogue again. That's the issue, I don't know how her family will take, especially since our previous issue. Not to mention that she noticed that I was with someone who I am unable to reach. Eight hours away doesn't seem to be worth it the more I continue to talk with her. I sure as hell know that 26 hours is definitely not worth it. The Huntress isn't making a good reason for me to put effort to visit her.  I won't waste my all on her. 

The other day, I was with the Reaper and his family having dinner. Then we decided to play around on Facebook. The Tigress was trying to attract his attention while I was there. She refuses to accept the fact that he wants nothing to do with her, and she's in denial of it. Not to mention she copied the games we played on Facebook, and each result was of her and the Reaper. I found out that she invited him only just so that she wouldn't feel awkward about going to CapeCon in Missouri with the Hero and his newfound girlfriend. He doesn't want to go, and I don't blame him. She just wants him and apparently no one else. That's fine. I didn't want to go anyway if she was going to try and drag him along. I honestly hate that I have no reason to go out on my own, but solitude seems to be the best option. 

Discord? The Mistress was having fun, but guess what? A member gets upset and jealous, which caused her to become upset and jealous. Why did I let that moderator talk me into returning back? I meant what I bloody said, I would only return when the Mistress' mate returns. I believe that he could quail her mood. I made a few posts in her group and to no avail, I'm not noticed. I know if I leave again they'll try and get me back. I don't want to block them, but I'm afraid I may have to if they don't accept my distance. I've spent hours and hard work on my posts, and it doesn't surprise me that an active night shuns my post.  I always go to sleep and ask myself the same question every night.

Is it a sin for asking death to claim me now? So that I can be reborn in a world that I feel that I'm worth something?