Soulmates

Chapter 1

Connor Murphy and Evan Hansen have been best friends since they were young. They would always play together at either Evan's or Connor's house. Connor's younger sister, Zoe, would usually ask to play with them. Most of the time, the boys said yes.

In their elementary years, Connor and Evan would always play together. Though they weren't in the same class at all, their classrooms were across the hall from each other, so Evan would tell his teacher that he had to use the bathroom, and Connor did the same. Sometimes they would leave their classrooms at the same time and walk together to the bathroom. During lunch, they sat together and talked about how their days had been going. When one of them was absent, the other moped and did nothing in class because their best friend wasn't there. All of their teachers said the same thing: they were inseparable.

When they reached middle school, Connor and Evan met Jared Kleinman. The three friends (and sometimes four, when Zoe decided to tag along) always hung out at Connor's house after school. They would talk about their days until Evan's mom and one of Jared's parents picked them up.

It was in high school that their little group expanded. Connor met Alana Beck in science class. She was a smart young lady and Connor took an instance liking to her. During that lunch hour, he dragged Alana to meet his other two friends. She hit it off with Jared and Evan and they all became close friends. Connor they grab a scoop at A La Mode to celebrate the newly formed friendship. Their middle school routine changed that year. Connor insisted they go to someone else's house and refused to let them come over.

His friends were confused, sure, but they accepted it and moved on. What they didn't know was that Connor started getting into more fights with his parents, usually resulting in screaming matches that sent Zoe crying for them to stop or running to her room in tears. They normally started out as little arguments, then progressively got more heated the longer they lasted. Sometimes, the fights got so bad that physical violence between Connor and his father occurred. Zoe began shutting herself away in her room while their mother tried her hardest to keep the peace.

The guilt of tearing his family apart ate away at Connor, but no matter what he did, he couldn't stop getting angry. Sometimes, he could barely control himself around his friends and he hated it. He hated that he couldn't be normal, he hated that he made his family miserable. He hated himself. The self-loathing grew so strong that he began to take a razor to his wrist. The first time it happened, he was only curious. In books, when a character mentioned self-harm, they spoke of how it freed them and gave them a moment of peace. He soon learned what they meant. The cuts were euphoric and it soon became an addiction.

Despite finding the relief he desperately needed, Connor was ashamed of his habit. He didn't know how his friends would react to the sight of his mangled wrists. He wore a hoodie to conceal the cuts. The fear of his friends' rejection was so powerful that he endured the discomfort of overheating. His friends were the only good things he had left. He refused to let that go.