✴ Book 2 of "Taming His Mistress" ✴
Everyone has their demons. Some of us choose to keep them hidden. But what happens when your demons come out to play? You can't run away from them. They're not going away.
Shadow and Angeline faced their share of...
"What's on your mind?" Marylynn asked as she approached me.
"I ruined everything." I sighed, taking a puff of my cigarette.
"Really? You don't smoke." Marylynn spoke with annoyance in her voice, taking the cigarette out my hand and throwing it to the ground. I've been sitting here for a while, wanting to be alone while we waited for Marylynn's associate to call. But Marylynn refused to leave me alone.
"Might as well. I have nothing to live for. The only reason I'm not wasted is that we have a job to do." I sighed and ran my fingers over my fresh wounds. Marylynn didn't approve of my relapse. She showed me that by slapping me in the face and not-so-gently patching me up on the plane ride here. Three years sober, down the drain. I didn't even feel the need to keep trying.
"You and I both know I'm no good with this feelings bullshit but there's something I need to tell you." She sighed and took my hand in hers. We were both cold, it was approaching winter here. Cold and rainy, really matched my mood.
"I tried to kill myself almost a year ago. If it weren't for Richard, I wouldn't be here. He would have been a widow, and Ash would be without a mother. I don't know if it was postpartum or the fact that Richard cheated on me..." She stopped when I snatched my hand away.
"He WHAT?!" I spat angrily.
"There's no need Ang. It's in the past and we've moved on. With therapy and lots of patience. Yes, it still hurts to know he was with another man. Something I didn't authorize. But we haven't done anything in a while because of the pregnancy. I wasn't myself, I didn't feel beautiful anymore, I felt disgusted with my body and I simply didn't want to be touched. It doesn't excuse what he did. But we talked through it. We did whatever it took. And that's what you need to do Ang. You two love each other, and when you're apart you don't know what to do. It's rare to find a love like that." She sighed and rubbed my thigh as I stared at the puddle on the ground.
We literally lived together and I had no idea this was going on. I guess that's the true meaning of a relationship. Dealing with your problems at home and not dragging others into it. All I can say is that I tried to keep it at home. But of course this got out of hand and I had to drag my friends into it. But Marylynn is right. Me and Shadow have something worth saving.
"Can I tell you something? Promise to keep it a secret?" I asked.
"You know you don't have to ask." Marylynn chuckled.
"I think I'm pregnant again," I admitted. It felt good to get it off my chest. After such a horrific miscarriage, I doubted I could get pregnant again. But my hopes were high which made me take a test this morning. Medically I didn't think it was possible. But here I am with my little miracle baby. I didn't think it was physically possible to get pregnant so soon after a miscarriage. Part of me wondered if I happened to be pregnant with twins and maybe just lost the other one. It would make sense.
"Ow!!" A pain shot through my head after Marylynn slapped it.
"And you're SMOKING? Fucking dumbass." She muttered.
"I know. It's stupid. I guess part of me was hoping to miscarry again, so I can set Shadow free." I hated to admit such a dark thought that crossed my mind. It kind of makes me wonder if I wanted the first baby. The signs were there, but maybe I chose to ignore them.
"I understand. All too well. After everything that happened, divorce is all that went through my head. I knew it would be hard for Ash to go through that. Even harder with two kids." I looked over at her and looked directly at her stomach.
"Two kids?" I asked. "I think I'm done being a Mistress. I'm going to be too busy being a mother. And apparently an aunt." She chuckled.
"What're the odds that we're both pregnant? And in such a horrible situation right now." I chuckled and pulled out my phone. Thirty-five missed calls and a shit ton of texts. All Shadow, a few Timothy. I wanted to respond but I just didn't know what to say. And whatever that needs to be said should be in person and not over the phone.
"It's only horrible if you make it. Yes, it's scary, but we're going to get this bastard. Then we are going to spend Christmas in Italy because of fuck this weather." She groaned.
"Hey! Shadow loves the snow. I remember his face lighting up when we built our first snowman." I smiled at the memory. Right after we built it, Scar jumped through it, completely ruining it. Scar was the best dog in the world. He was Shadow's best friends, MY best friend. He deserves a funeral when all of this is done.
"Ang?" Marylynn asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Yeah?" I looked up at her, seeing concern written all over her face.
"Shadow is missing." She said, handing me her phone. I frantically read through the texts. All from Ruvik. Shadow slipped out last night. I'm not sure how considering his house is supposed to be safer than a police station.
"What the hell is he thinking?! It's not safe! Where on Earth would he go?" I started crying. Thinking the absolute worse.
"You're pregnant?" A voice said. I looked up and gasped. Shadow stood there, holding a bear and some flowers. How much of our conversation did he hear?
"Wha..wha.." I had no words. What the hell was he doing here? How did he find me? He rushed over to me, throwing the bear in a puddle and the flowers along with it. Without hesitation, I jumped up and met his embrace. I melted into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. This felt like home, and I never wanted to leave. I've tried so hard to be strong for the both of us, it felt good to be weak for once.
"Ang I can't begin--" He started but I interrupted him.
"Shadow let's not talk about it right now." I sniffled and wiped my cheeks from the tears that fell uncontrollably. My mind was racing over the fact that he came for me. When all I could think about were his words, and how dull my future would be without him.
"I have to say this... Angeline, I fucking love you. Okay? I'm not giving this up. Now I don't care if I spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I'm so sorry for what I said, I really am. I was childish. I didn't understand how much you sacrificed for me, for us." He rests his hand on my stomach. I had so many things to say. So many emotions going through me at once. The one physical thing I felt was a blinding pain in my shoulder. Before I could wince or cry out, I could feel my legs giving out. Shadow's terrified face was hovering over me. His screams were distant. Marylynn's hair covered my face as she bent over me, holding my shoulder. I stared up at the sky, the rain fell gently on my face. At this moment in time, I felt nothing, the burning pain gone. No fear, no pain. For once, I didn't need to think about anything. Right now, I have a choice. I finally got a choice. To live, or to finally let death take me in his sweet embrace.
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