Addicted...

Chapter 7

I'm drunk off my mind, blastinf Rihanna's S&M through the speakers in my room. If I'm not good enough for anything else, at least I can move my body.

I swing my hips roughly to the rhythm of the song while taking large swigs of my bottle of vodka. I gave the other bottle to Trystan.

When I paid for the vodka I noticed that Trystan didn't use my money to pay for the groceries. I didn't question it, but I knew he pitied me that's why he paid for the groceries himself.

The next song start and in my half drunken state I recognize it ro be new thang by Redfoo. Immediately I drop to the floor and start twerking my way up. I lift my one leg up and twerk to the side.

I'm so occupied with my thoughtsand dancing that I don't hear my bedroom door opening. I'm still twerking around my bed that is located underneath the window , but I turn around and my face falls. My expression becomes deadly.

Who does he think he is? I try to hide my anger but I'm not in the right state of mind and I blow up completely.

"You dick! You make my feel unwelcome, then you take me on an adventure to get to know the apartment. And I remember so damn well that the fridge is next to the sink on rhe right side od the kitchen. You have a secret stash of oreos and Doritos in the cupboard above the microwave on the lefthand side of the kitchen. And your shaving cream... Your shaving cream is always on top of the shelves in the bathroom, never inside. Then you take me to Walmart, tell me to keep my distance and I lost so I stripped. And then... And then you fucking pity me. You didn't even use my money to pay for the groceries because that wat the deal. Loser pays. But you know what? Screw you."

My voice breaks a little towards the end and I punch him so hard his lip starts streaming with blood. At least I got rid of my frustration.

"Feisty. I like it, but you have a mighty fine right hook over there. Mighty fine ass too!" He chuckles a little before I stick mt middle finger at him. That leaves him more shocked that my punch. I can see him clenching his jaw and balling his fist in order to contain his anger.

If he so much as raise his hand towards me I will murder him and move out.

Trystan walks around me and I visibly flinch away until I notice he is hoinf towards my amplifiers. He changes the song until Mi Gente comes on.

"Can you move feisty?" He asks as if I'm a child. His anger dissolves while he waits for my answer.

"Can you breathe?" I fire back with all my sarcasm.

With that his grin stretches and he grabs my right hand in him and pulls me closer by my waist. His masculine hands secure me in place and he spins me around twice. He pulls me back in towards his chest and his feather light movements starts syncing with my own. When his right foot moves forward, my left foot goes backwards.

We move all around mt bedroom to the fast paced sound of the song. Although I don't know the words to the song I know that it's so much more fun to dance with someone to the beat.

Trystan twirls me again and when he pulls me back in he picks me up and as the song comes closer to it's end, Trystan tosses me in the air, I turn around and Trystan catches me when I cone down.

I've never trusted someone so easily. And that scares me. The song has completely stopped but Trystan won't put me down.

I start getting jittery in his arms and he holds me tighter.

"Leave me alone Trystan. Keep your distance. There's nothing between us. And don't ever come into my room without permission again. I will cut you ballsack off and force feed it to you. Understood?"

I don't wait for him to reply as I shove him out of the door and slam it in his face.

I can feel my panic attack coming so I quickly run to my stereo and pull out the plug. I runs to go lock my door for the first time since I've been living here.

I crumble next to mt bed and let out an inhuman brawling sound from the back of my throat. I start shaking and I puke on the floor. It feels like I'm trappen inside mt old room again.

I feels like punishment.

I wish it would just stop!

I try standing up to convince myself I'm not trapped in my old room again. I try to focus on my breathing like my previous therapist said.

In. Out. In. Out. In. In. In.

It feels like I'm suffocating. I can't control my breathing anymore. I fall to the ground again and start screaming for help. I scream even though I know no one ever comes. I'm just not important enough. I'm not hood enough or worthy enough.

I deserve to feel like this!