Because Of You

Thirty Six - Bite Your Tongue

"Love you." He grinned widely down the camera, before he tapped his fingers against his pouting lips and then reached out to tap those same fingers on the camera.

"Did you actually just do that?" I burst into laughter.

"Kiss me back bitch." He pouted childishly and frowned.

"You're a joke." I laughed staring back at my phone screen for a minute as he just held that unimpressed pouting expression. So with a sigh and a laugh, I shook my head before kissing my fingers and then tapping the camera. "There you are."

When I drew my fingers back again he was grinning widely on my screen again and it only made me laugh more.

"I really have to go;" He was still smiling as he spoke, "But I'll catch you later."

"You got it," I nodded and smiled back at the camera. "Bye."

"Bye Pumpkin." He kept that happy ear to ear grin until video cut off and my face time informed me that he had in fact disconnected the call.

One of the little things which I really was grateful for, was the fact that neither of us were annoying people who exchanged ten goodbye's before hanging up. Sure I didn't like that I only got to speak to him for an hour or so each day and it definitely sucked that that hour was on face time with what was often shitty connection but that didn't make me want to say goodbye to him seven times. He said goodbye, I said bye back and then he hung up, or I did and that was how it should be, how I liked it.

It had only been three days since we'd both got home, but we had spoken every day and things had been okay so far. It was rather like the past year had been, only I didn't feel so shit and I called Gerard every day. Things were good and it felt like it was all going to be perfectly fine, but I was particularly wary of the possibility that it wouldn't last. I was preparing myself for things to slowly get harder. Everybody told you and everybody knew that long distance relationships were difficult things and it didn't feel as bad as I expected. So I knew that it wouldn't stay easy.

The thing was, I had arrived back late Sunday night, Monday I had off and then I had been back to work, I hadn't really done anything. The same went for Gerard, except Gerard was at work Monday too. Things would start to change when I got back into the swing of my normal life, when things started happening. Soon enough I would be invited to parties and nights out and that would change things. Life would get busier in October time and maybe we wouldn't have as much time to sit around for an hour or two and call each other. Time zones would get in the way and when one of us was able to spare half an hour or so the other would be busy.

It would be lonely at times and there was no denying that I was going to miss the physicality of our relationship. We had never been crazy active, we weren't at it all the time like animals - although our antics in Greece might argue that - but we had used to have sex often enough for me to notice and miss not having that.

That wasn't really my priority in that moment though; in fact I think it would be a secondary priority until we were together again. Generally I didn't want or need to let myself worry about or think on those things because as things were, right in that moment, everything was good.

Everything was good until I plugged in my phone and walked out of my room that was. When I walked into the living room I just stopped in my tracks as my eyes fell on Jen who was sat cross legged on the couch watching me intently. She was watching me like she had been sat there for a while staring at my door waiting for me to come out.

"Are you a psycho now or what?" I laughed shaking my head and brushing it off as I walked towards the kitchen.

"I made you a coffee." She called before I made it to the kitchen.