Problems Anonymous(complete)

Chapter 13

He called a taxi, and could barely get out the directions to his apartment in between our kisses. He left trails down my neck, and his hands securely wrapped around me. I could care less if the driver was watching us, I didn't want it to end.

Somehow, the taxi driver made it to Austin's place, and we stopped greedily macking on each other's faces long enough for Austin to pay the guy.He took my hand and giddily lead me up the stairs, and unlocked the door. He pushed me inside, and I smiled at the messy pile of papers on the floor, the same as before. He wrapped his hands around my waist, pinning me to the wall. I giggled when they traveled down to my butt, and held my fingertips up to his cheeks. I gave him a quick peck, before I started to pull his shirt off over his head. He followed my lead, and started unzipping my dress. My eyes scanned his body, and my dress dropped to the floor. He grinned at what he saw, both our eyes filled with desire, and I blushed. I started to tug at the rest of his clothes, wanting more of him. Our foreheads touched, each with a sweaty mop of hair. I could feel his fingers touch the back hook to my bra, but he never unclipped it. I laughed.

"You do know how a bra works, don't you?", I worked at his belt.

His irresistible hazel eyes looked down on me.

"Wait, no." His hands stopped mine.

"But, why?"

I felt stupid. Like a little kid being stopped from getting candy.

"I..I don't want to ruin you."

"I'm not a virgin."

"I know.It's not that."

"Then what?", I could've eased up on my impatient tone.I moved back, our foreheads no longer touching,  and I felt bare and cold. He sighed, and bent down on the edge of his bed. He ran his hands through his hair.

"Kissing is the most pure and raw form of physical contact that could ever be.", of course, he'd have a lecture for anything, "Sex is intimate, sure, but you could have sex with anyone."

"Great.", I snorted, taking a seat next to him.

"A kiss though, my god.", he ignored my remarks, "A kiss could change your world. A small touch of two pairs of lips can blow your mind."

I knew what he was saying. This, our bodies together,wasn't something we could rush into, or a matter to take lightly. But the purity of kissing, whether it was short and sweet, or long and intense-his lips did give me all the satisfaction in the world. Even more, the way he looked at me- it was like I was more beautiful than a blossoming rose. I never wanted to feel another's lips against mine ever again.

He licked his lips, probably to help win me over on what he was saying. He wanted us to wait, and I'd rather agree with him now than never have it at all. I was about to lean in, but he beat me to it. His teeth caressed my bottom lip, gently nipping at it. Air blew out of my nose, and I didn't know how to deal with my rising levels of pleasure.

"I'm sorry", he puffed, "Trust me, I really want to, too."

"Will you just lay with me then?" I leaned back and hid my almost nude body within his sheets. He smirked and got under the covers with me. I faced the wall, and he positioned his body so that he perfectly spooned me. His hand ran down my arm until they met my own hands, all the while I got goosebumps from his touch. I could hear a soft giggle from under his breath; he knew that even though we weren't going to do anything, he still made me nervous.

He swallowed, and for a while, our heartbeats where the only sound. Mine was fast, and his was slow, but in time, they caught up to one another in perfect rythm.

"I was drinking because I was jealous.", his breath tickled my neck.

"What?"

"I was jealous you were going out."

He probably thought I had been disappointed that he had a bottle when he picked me up. I actually didn't care as much; he was a grown man, capable of doing his own thing without a "buddy". He didn't seem drunk or anything, anyway.

"Why'd you set me up then, genius?"

"I didn't like you that way before. But then you grew on me, and it was too late. I couldn't compete with Ari.", he chuckled when he added, "Actually, in the beginning, you weren't exactly my cup of tea. I used to think you were a nut case, showing up to AA for no reason." 

"I don't have to be your cup of tea, anyway.", I turned to face him." You aren't mine. Tea makes you feel warm and drowsy. You're my tenth shot of tequila."

He scrunched his eyebrows.

"You make me feel alive.", I bit my lip, content that I had finally come up with something clever.

He squeezed my arm and planted a kiss on my forehead.

"You do too. I just never knew how to tell you. I used to think that maybe I'd get so drunk, I'd have a reason to call you.", he tucked strands of baby hairs behind my ears as he talked, only making me love him more. "Maybe six drinks would be enough to hear your voice. But I didn't do it; that'd only make me look like a loser."

"No you wouldn't have."

He shook his head in disagreement.

"Then, I tried something else. I'd coat my tongue in whiskey, trying to forget you. But your smile was tattooed on my pupils, and I saw it everywhere I went. Those three stupid words burned in my throat, and I tried to put out the fire. But the embers will always be glowing."

My eyes felt glossed over with his words, and he had done it again. He had indirectly told me he loved me, and even though the actual words hadn't escaped his mouth, it felt much more meaningful. He played with our intertwined fingers, like they do in the movies.

"How could you tell someone you love them, when you haven't really learned to love yourself?", he frowned, examining his own fingers. I knew he was talking about his own flaws, his drinking and other responsibilities."It's hypocrisy. In Africa, there's a saying that means 'be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt'."

I rolled my eyes. This was quickly turning into another vent session, and I didn't mind. I liked how we could jump from topics so smoothly, anyway. Listening to what he had to say was always so natural and enlightening, in whatever situation. We were each other's therapists. He sighed, continuing."I either drink too much, or not at all. I sleep for fourteen hours, or have insomniac nights. Fall in love very hard, or hate passionately. I don't know what grey is, I never did."He turned to me. "But with you, I don't need grey. When I take all this passion, and put it in you, like how we've gone on this whole little adventure, I only get the positive end."

He kissed my hand, and I had no way to respond. After a while, I giggled thinking about it.

"What a sap", I teased, "Don't talk about me, when you're just as soft."

He smiled, his messy hair and bare skin visible through the moonlight. He thought about it all, too.

"Sorry I'm ruining things for you and Ari", he flushed, sheepishly tucking his head deeper into the pillow. He pouted, his lips glistening, calling to me.

"It wouldn't have worked. He isn't you."

Ari was sweet and kind, but it was true. I only loved Austin. My mind kept thinking about the idea that he might kiss me again. I desperately wanted him to, and I was determined to steal one more for the night.

His clock ticked through the night, my hand still safely tucked with his. The ups and downs of our chests hypnotized me, and I hated how my diabetes made me sleepier a lot faster than normal.

"Mais", he whispered, had he said it a minute later, I would have missed it in my sleep. I was to tired to respond with any noise, so he could have mistaken me for already being asleep.

"Will you be my girlfriend?", he blurted anyway. I could sense some sort of nervousness in his voice, and it was absolutely adorable.

"Ok, Mahone.", I nuzzled myself closer to him.