memes || vernon

3.3| anxiety

maddy collected her things and walked out of her class and into the hall swimming with students. the past few days maddy had been really on edge about her feelings, she felt as if a part of her was missing.

ever since her and donghyuck not only broke up, but stopped being friends, maddy felt unbelievable lost. she was overwhelmed by everything, it was nearing a time she didn't want to remember and it left her broken every time she simply thought about it.

she entered her english class, late. vernon gave her a skeptical look as she sat beside him. "are you crying?" he asked quietly. maddy went to speak, reply with a no, but she was all choked up. she opened the camera on her phone and looked at her reflection. her eyes were bright red and tears were welled up inside, it looked as if they were going to spill any second.

maddy looked in horror and quickly ran out of the classroom, paying no attention to the teacher yelling for her to come back to class. she ran into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror, her breaths were heavy and uneven, her eyes looked permanently red. tears involuntarily shed from her eyes.

"damnit, damnit, damnit," she muttered to herself as her stomach began to fall, she knew this feeling. she attempted to take deep breathes, to steady herself, but it was no use.

her legs became shaky and soon she fell to the ground. "just breathe," she whispered, barely able to let words escape her lips. maddy's breathing became shaky and heavy, tears uncontrollably fell down her cheeks, taking her mascara with it.

after two or three minutes, maddy stood up and brushed off her jeans. she acted as if nothing happened, as if not only two minutes ago she was curled up in a ball on the floor having anxiety attack in the school bathroom. 

she looked at her reflection once more. she saw the broken girl, the one she hated so much. she took out her phone and texted her mother to pick her up. thankfully, she agreed without any questions. maddy walked back to class and told her teacher that she was leaving, the teacher nodded and handed her the packet they needed for class.

maddy took it and walked over to her desk where all of her books were scattered. she quickly, yet quietly packed her things and walked to the office where her mother was already waiting. she ran into her moms arms and began crying into her expensive work shirt, her mother said goodbye to the confused staff workers and walked her hysteric daughter out of the school building.

"what's wrong, baby?" she asked after they were well away from the school.

"i miss him," she cried. her mother looked at her with sad, puppy eyes.

"we can go visit him," her mother said in hopes that would help. maddy nodded and curled up into a ball, still sitting in the front seat.

the two pulled up to the yard where they would go every so often, maddy more often than her mother. maddy walked along the grassy lot, looking carefully for the rock in which she cherished so much.

upon finding it she crouched down reading the words carved into the thick rock

Jacob Ayers
1967-2016
a loving son, brother
friend, and father
forever in our
hearts