Life After Death {t.c} [2]

4 // We Meet Again

"Madison."

"Maddie."

"Madd."

"...MADISON!" I shoot up at the sudden loudness.

Looking around my room in confusion, my eyes land on a dirty blonde haired boy.

"Matt!" I engulf him in a hug.

"Hey." He squeezes back. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"I know. It's just.. you know, I needed time. I still do." I sigh and look down.

He lifts my chin up with his pointer finger. "Hey, we all miss him. I know it's affecting you a lot worst than us so I understand. But we all love you, I want you to know that." He says with sincere eyes. I know he's referring to me trying to kill myself in the past. "I can't loose you too, Maddie." He wraps his arms around my shoulders.

I squeeze tightly around his torso. "You won't loose me."

After that emotional moment with Matt this morning, we got ready for the meet up. I was pretty nervous since I haven't seen fans face to face in over a year. I don't want them to overwhelm me with questions about Taylor but I kind of have a feeling they will. I just wish he was here. If he was I wouldn't be this way and I'd be happy.... with him.

'@MadisonMcBride: Meet up today in Malibu! Can't wait to finally see you guys again... kinda nervous tho..'

After all of us were done, we piled into the car and headed for Malibu. I'm not sure how long the drive was because I talked and caught up with Matt the whole time and didn't really pay attention. All I know is that when we got there, there were hundreds of fans lined up.

My nerves kicked in again and made me take a deep breath. Matt must've noticed cause he wrapped his arm around me and rubbed my arm to sooth me.

"You'll be fine." He whispers.

"It's just different, you know? Normally Taylor's here telling me how pretty I look today, messing with me and just being a plain idiot." I explain.

"Well, you look gorgeous, as pure usual." He says like he's pointing out the obvious. "I know that you're ticklish." He moves the arm that's wrapped around me down to my waist and begins tickling me.

"Matt, stop!" I shout but everyone's too caught up in their own conversations to care.

He smiles but stops. "And I can't do that duck noise thing that he does but just imagine him doing that." I chuckle. "Cuudiee." He attempts his impression of Taylor which makes me laugh, hard. "Yay! I made you laugh."

I wipe the tears from my eyes but don't reply for a couple minutes. "I just feels weird." I finally say.

"How weird?" He asks.

"Like it's not real."

~~

"Any other questions?" Hayes says into his microphone. A girl in a Taylor Caniff tye-dye shirt raises her hand. "You." Hayes points to the girl.

"My question in for Maddie." I look up at the girl. "I'm really sorry if I'm going into a touchy subject but how are you doing? You know... without Taylor?"

I swallow before glancing down then back up at the girl. "Um, to be honest, I'm a wreck. I basically didn't do anything for six months. After that I started social media again but never really got out of the house. Uh, honestly I didn't really consider myself getting at least a tiny bit better until a few weeks ago." I explain, trying not to cry. "But I guess it's what happens when you loose the love of your life. The last thing I said to him was 'Bye, Taylor' and it was over the phone. I didn't get to tell him that I loved him and that I'm sorry for all the things I've done to hurt him in the past. I never got to really say goodbye."

"How does it feel?" A random girl shouts.

"It feels like a piece of me is missing. A piece that I'll never get back and a piece I'll never replace even if I tried. It feels like the best part of my life isn't there anymore. Because, honestly, it isn't."A tear runs down my face but i quickly wipe it away. "I think that love is powerful. Love has the power to put you on top of the world and it has the same amount of power to put you beneath the dirt. I feel that the best relationships are the ones that start off as best friends and that's what Taylor and I were. So, it's not just that I lost the love of my life. I lost the love of my life and I lost the best-best friend I've ever had." By this time, tears are running down my face and I can't stop them. I hand my microphone to Cameron and walk off the stage.

I can't breath. Everything is in slow motion. I become dizzy and before I know it, I'm falling. I prepare myself to hit the ground but I land in someone's arms instead. I open my eyes and I see the one and only, Kian Robert Lawley.

"Madison?"

"Kian." I quickly rise to my feet and begin walking away from him as quickly as possible.

"Madison, wait." He grabs my wrist but I pull it away from him.

"Leave me alone, Kian." I spit, tears still falling down my face.

"Madison, please just tell me what's wrong." He says with sincere eyes. "Please, Maddie."

"I thou- I thought I could do this but I- I can't. I just can't." I collapse into Kian's arms and cry into his chest.

"Shhh, it's alright. It's okay." Kian strokes my hair to try to sooth me.

"No, it's not. He's gone, Kian. He's gone."

"Who? Maddie, who's gone?"

"Taylor.... Taylor's gone."

✖

"Are you okay?" Nash asks from beside me.

"Never better." I say sarcastically, making him sigh. "I'm right back where I started, Nash. Sad and alone."

"You have us." Nash smiles.

"I want Taylor." I look down.

"Maybe you just need to talk to someone."

"Like who?"

He smiles before running toward his room, leaving me confused. He comes back a few minutes later with his Mac Book. After he sets it in front of me, I see that he has Shawn pulled up on FaceTime.

"Maddie." He smiles.

"Hey Shawn." I smile.