lie again ; soonhoon

Finale

"Then why does his tummy has that bump?"

Napatingin ako kay Jeonghan hyung.

"A-ano? N-nagsinungaling na naman ba siya?"

"Ano ba Soonyoung! Tingin mo magsisinungaling pa siya sa ganynag kalagayan?! Are you doubting him again?" Jeonghan's tears fell again.

"Soonyoung.. Kailangan ka niya, kailangan niya tayo. Huwag ka namang mag-isip ng ganyan sa kanya." he said making me to realize kung ano man ang sinabi ko.

I'm sorry Jihoon...

We heared the door creaked open,

"Ailee Noona..." we called her.

"J-jihoon." she says, bago siya mapaluhod at umiyak nang umiyak.

-

It's been weeks and our puffy eyes are still visible. Bumalik kami ni Soonji sa totoong bahay namin. Sa totoo lang, walang nagbago. Still yung pinundar at nakasanayan namin, yun parin. But our room. It's a mess.

Lyrics are all crumpled, pakalat-kalat. Tuyong dugo sa bedsheets. I sighed.

Nagsimula akong pulutin lahat ng kalat, but there's one paper catches my attention.

it's... it's a letter..
a letter noona told me before na hindi niya alam kung nasan,  I slowly opened it, and my tears are back on their jobs again.

"Kwon Soonyoung. You don't know how happy I am to have you. Hindi mo alam kung gaano kita kamahal, kung gaano ako nagsakripisyo para sa'yo. Hindi mo alam lahat ng sakit na nabigay mo sa'kin, but still. I'm so thankful na dumating ka sa buhay ko. Kayo ni Soonji. You are my both angles. Alagaan niyo sarili niyo ha?

I would like to start this one with some revelation, hahaha kala mo naman nasa drama tayo. Pero yung nga..

I am pregnant. Nasa unang letter ko yun kung nabasa mo na.
I'm pregnant but this one is dangerous.

Sabi nung doctor sakin, baka di ko kayanin o di kaya di kayanin ni baby. Pero tinuloy ko. Nalaman ko to when I was in California pa. I can see the symptoms of being pregnant kasi pero when i consulted to them, yes i have a baby again in my womb, pero they saw something.

I have Pseudo Obstruction Motility Disorder, where I can't digest food just like normal people did. Kaya pala ang bilis lumaki ng tiyan ko sabi ko. May something sa intestines ko na nagkabuhol buhol. Ah basta. search mo kung curious ka. Hindi ko maexplain nang maayos, hindi ko rin ganon kaalam e hahahaha.

So yun, nag-occur daw yun in my past pregnancy, siyempre, m-preg is not normal. you know that.

But having this illness, I'm still thankful kasi we have Soonji. Magkasakit man ako at least we have an angel now.

There's no cure daw to sabi nung Doctor ko. Kaya yon siguro while reading this, wala na ako no?

I didn't tell it to anyone yet. Kahit si Noona. Pero siguro lahat kayo alam na to duh siyempre.

Jiyoung didn't make it, yung pamamaga sa internal organs ko didn't let our son's heart to beat, naipit si Jiyoung dahil sa kanila. Gago ng mga yon. Akala ko kaya niya. Akala ko kaya namin. Pero hindi bumitaw siya.

Soons, I love you. No matter what happens, stay with Soonji. Be with him until he became successful. Huwag mo siyang papabayaan, mumultuhin kita sige.

btw. there's a song I created for you and Soonji. I love you both.

This isn't a goodbye, okay? I will keep on guiding you.

Love, Kwon Jihoon. Sana.

-

Soonyoung held the letter tightly. Nagsisisi siya. Sa tagal nilang di nakapagusap ni Jihoon, tatlong sulat lang ang matatanggap niya mula rito.

if that game doesn't started at the first place wala sanang ganitong ganap.

"Smile Flower"

the file's name written so finely.

"Listen to this song when you miss me. I love you." he cried more. Wala nang tigil pa.

"I love you Ji, I love you. Please comeback? Please come back to life? Soonji and I are still waiting for you even it's impossible. Ji, I love you. I love you. That's the truth. Our love. Ji."

Three letters, ILY.
two lies, I'll leave you. I'll never comeback.
one truth, I love you.