Lana has troubles that follow her everywhere but the most horrific one is yet to come. So when a man with curly hair and a big ego gives her an ultimatum to block that out will she take the chance and risk breaking a heart in the process?
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A few days had passed since Matty and I had arrived in Italy, I had forgotten how much I had loved the place since being away for so long. I could tell that Matty was enjoying it as well which made me feel a whole lot better about being here, he was being really caring and sensitive towards me considering the sudden circumstances, he didn't want to leave me alone nor did he want to suffocate me by constantly being by my side twenty four seven. I got off my bed and saw that my balcony doors were open so I pushed the thin curtains apart and I saw Matty sitting on a white metal chair with his leg crossed over the other, a cigarette in his mouth and a black book held in one hand joined with a small black pen. I smiled at the sight of him from a distance so I walked up behind him and put my arms around his shoulders and rested my chin on the top of them. I watched him put his book down on the table in front of him as he took hold of my hand and walked me round before resting his arm around my waist and making me sit on his lap, I had one arm rested round the back of his neck and I was playing with the ends of his hair slowly while he stroked my thigh slowly with his arms still wrapped around my waist which made me smile contently. I noticed him look up at me so I looked down at him and continued to smile. "What are you thinking about sweetheart?" He asked me and just him calling me that made my stomach feel funny.
"Honestly?" I asked him and he nodded slowly as he genuinely wanted to know what was on my mind, "You. I'm thinking about you and I just can't seem to stop." I tell him and he smiles up at me.
"Well don't then." Matty said seriously as I looked down at him, I leaned in and kissed him softly but it felt true and had so much feeling even if this is just some stupid casual thing I want it too last forever.
"You know this is all in lust and desire right?" I asked Matty as I pulled away from him and stood up from his lap and walked over to the edge of the balcony and gripped onto the railings in front of me so tightly, like I was scared to let go.
"What do you mean?" Matty asked as he came and stood next to me, I didn't look over at him I just continued to look over my little Italian home.
"This is just a strong sexual desire. A strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen between us both but it just can't, we're using each other. You're using me to get over your ex and I'm simply using you to get over my dad. I can't be trusted Matty you can't trust me." I tell him as I turn to face him realising that he was staring at me throughout my little speech; he was hanging on my every word like it was the last things that he was ever going to hear fall out of my mouth.
"You know I love you right?" He asked me and I scoffed before letting go of the balcony and walking over to my balcony doors where I held onto the doorframe before leaving Matty,
"You don't love me, you love the feeling, the sensation, the want of being close to another human being. You trust me in the sense that you know I won't screw you over and break your heart whereas I can't say the same thing for myself, I don't know if you will toss me away knowing full well what we have been doing. You're a player Healy you will always be that there is no escaping it." I tell him as I walk into my room and get changed knowing that Matty could see me and that my body was in his eye range and I just did not care.
