"Billie Joe! I'm so sorry to hear about your bandmate....I really am. But I hear the 'Mr. Chimps' guy is waaaaaaay better than he was....and better than you." Mr. Clark, the talent agent, said.
"Oh really?" Billie Joe mumbled through his clenched teeth.
"Well, yes. Its all they've been talking about on tv. MTV, VH1, CMT, Home Shopping Network, all the really sucky music channels, its all there. Its also been said that you chickened out on stage, after a mysterious flying banana hit you on the head and a monkey attacked you. They said you were crying like a baby backstage. Even your wife couldn't get you to stop." Mr. Clark replied, trying his best not to laugh.
"WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!?!?" Billie Joe, trying not to get too worked up, twitched.
"Only my three favorite Jackass stars: Johnny Knoxville and his two female cohorts, Shela and Danielle." Mr. Clark squeaked, afraid of what Billie Joe would say.
"Oh really?" Billie Joe sneered. He was already coming up with a plan to destroy them.
******
Meanwhile, Shela was downtown helping Danielle wash her car. "Hey Danielle! Think fast!" Shela said, then squirted her with a water hose. Danielle wiped the water off of her face. "Where's Robert?" She said.
"Oh, he's shooting a film. I have an appointment at five to see if I get the part." Shela replied.
"What role are you supposed to get?" Danielle said.
"Um....I believe I get the role of the wife." Shela replied. Just when Danielle was about to say something, Shela's cell phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Shela? Guess what? You got the part! I talked to the director and he said you'd be perfect for the part! Oh and by the way, could I possibly come over after while?" Robert wondered.
Shela put her hand over the speaker of the phone. "Danielle, he wants to know if he can come over later. What can I say?"
"Say yes." Danielle replied.
"Sure." Shela answered Robert.
"Great. I'll be over around seven. Goodbye!" Robert said.
"Bye!" She replied. She closed her cell phone. "I can't believe it. He's coming over at seven."
"You think he's trying to hit on you?" Danielle asked.
"I don't know." Shela replied. There was a short silence there.
"Have you shaved your armpits? Brushed your teeth?" Danielle asked.
"Yup."
"Well then you'll be fine. Don't worry about it!" Danielle patted Shela on the back.
"Will you somehow help me?" Shela asked, about to panic.
"Sure. We could shove a walkie talkie down your shirt. Or we could set up one of those ear piece walkie talkies and I could hide in your closet and tell you what to do. Or we could...."
"Okay, okay I get it! Let's go with the second one!" Shela freaked out.
"Alright, I'll help you. Don't sweat it!"
******
"Billie Joe Aaron Armstrong!! I haven't saw you in years! I didn't know you'd gotten so fat!" His grandmother said, astonished by Billie Joe's obvious weight gain. Amber looked over at Billie Joe. "Uh grandma....I think its time for your shots."
Grandma started to freak out.
"Amber, I'm going to go get her her shots. You stay right here with Grandma. I'll be right back."
He came back with the shots and made Amber go outside Grandma Armstrong's room. "Well Grandma...have sweet dreams and goodnight!"He put the lethal shot in her arm...
...she was also dead.
"Come on Amber! Time to go!" He grabbed his wife and pulled her out of the nursing home and into the car.
Billie Joe had stricken again!!!
YOU ARE READING
American Idiot 2: Billie Joe's Bad Singing
HumorLaugh. Cry. Cringe. It's all good. Billie Joe Armstrong is a bad singer. He's also a loving husband and father and the front man to Green Day as well. And he's also an apparently evil mastermind seeking world domination, but let's not get ahead of...
