Helpless (Aaron Hotchner Fanfic)

Chapter Eleven

It was dark.

Cold.

Murky.

EVIL.

Daddy told me once about monsters. He said monsters are terrible. They lurk nearby you and always want to fight. He told me how they want to eat up all the good feelings and all the happy thoughts. He said, "Never let monsters win."

I think right now that they are winning. 

I'm not happy right now. I'm scared. I've been in the dark corner for a while now. The smell in here is terrible. It smells like our neighbor Mr. Winner's woodpile after a heavy rain when the wood is dark and wet. I do not like it here. I can hear the wind blowing hard and strong and the thin walls creak and groan. It as almost as if they are crying out for help. 

But I am not allowed to. 

Or the Pacing Man will beat me. 

I learned it the hard way. He told me not to open my mouth when I woke up thirsty in the strange vehicle. I did as I was told until he dragged me out of the car and threw me in the sand. It hurt and I cried out. The Pacing Man did not like my cry. He hit me very hard. Now I keep my hand over the lump on my head. I wish Daddy was here. He would bring me a cookie and a band-aid. 

But I do not know where Daddy is. 

I do not know where I am. 

I do not even know when the Pacing Man will stop pacing. 

But I do know that I am scared ...

And I cannot work the case.

~~~~~

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in. 

Breathe out. 

I did not want to meet a small, angelic little child this way. Not at all would I ever want it this way. But sometimes people don't know the definition of good. They only know the way of evil. Some people are born into it, some learn it out of example, some become it. What I wonder every day as an agent-in-training is ...

why is there evil?

The grand question. Maybe the world would be too simple. Another question now: Why does the world feel the need to be extra and over-complicated? People are like that too. Why can humanity and the planet that we live on be simple? Is that another unknown word?

A bitter gust of wind seemed to freeze my train on thought and push me back into reality. My boots dug into the mushy sand that surrounded the beach, the howling wind blowing sheets of rain into my numb face. The temperature seemed to drop ten degrees since we arrived here. I couldn't imagine what this little boy felt like. As far as I knew, he only had a thin pair of flannel pajamas on his body at the moment. Who knows if he is even in a shelter right now?

My boots dug further into the sand as my steps quickened and lengthened. 

Jack.

My body was shaking with fatigue and numbness.

Jack.

But I wouldn't stop. I had to find Hotch's son. 

Jack.

It was all that mattered to me right now. 

Jack.

The thought of this shivering boy unable to cry for help running through my mind pushed my drive over the edge until I was practically running and leaving a confused Hotch behind me. 

~~~~~

It killed me knowing that I could not shout my son's name. If I did, that put his life in even more danger than it probably was already. I did not want that to happen. I could not lose my son. I could not lose my son the way I lost my wife. I would not let that happen. I would find Jack and bring him home safe. 

My brain was currently running at a speed in which I did not know the human brain could run at. It was probably even faster than Reid's brain. All filled with questions, hopes, thoughts, and worry. But most of all?

Drive. 

The dark night made my eyes work hard to scan their way through it, looking for someone or something that held my son. As my eyes scanned over to my right, I saw Melanie. She was pale and soaked with rain. She had taken off her leather jacket and placed it over the warm blankets under her arms in order to keep them dry. I would protest about hypothermia and her well being if it wasn't such a necessity at this moment in time. 

Her dark brown hair, now reduced from stick straight work material to soft natural waves, shielded her eyes. But through the gaps of her stringy, dripping hair, I could see that they were sad and lost in thought. Her pale hazel eyes were now filled with grey emotions instead of their usual happiness. I preferred them that way. It made me smile. 

And Garcia even said I need to smile more often. 

I looked ahead and wondered why I was feeling such a deep, different type of feeling with Melanie. It almost felt as though my high school self had come to visit and play with my feelings. I had never felt this way before. Not even with Haley. This feeling was not love. It was ... strange. I do not know how to describe it. It is intense, fiery and confused. All in one little feeling. It was growing, too. My brain does not know what to do with it. 

I looked up to the sound of a loud crunch. Melanie had changed. The air around her changed from subtle and sad to fire and determination. Her feet seemed to crush the sand of the shore into dust as she quickened her steps and lengthened them. I began to use my profiling skills and knew that Melanie was angry. Angry at whoever took my son. But I could tell that she was angry at herself. One thing I could not profile was why. She began speed walking, then in a split second, she was running. 

"Melanie?!" I yelled through the wind. She would've heard me but she was too determined to look back and stop. My feet soon were crashing into the sand like her own and we were both running side by side together, across the shore, into the black of night. Even though Melanie did not glance my way or speak to me once, she heard my feet at a pace beside her own and I even saw her smile a tiny bit. 

But that smile quickly faded as both of us stopped suddenly at the dark silhouette of an old shed down in a bank. I looked at her as she stared on at the shed and slowly turned her head towards me. Her voice trembled.

"Hotch I know exactly who took your son."

~~~~~

Hey guys!

I know you all hat eme right now because I haven't uploaded in forever but ... I had a sudden urge to literally put everything I had at 11 at night after watching the rest of season six and starting season seven of Criminal Minds ... and write another chapter. This book has been neglected since the summer and I apologize. It is one of my favorite works and I needed to update it. Anyways ...

What do you think Melanie is talking about?

You will find out in the next chapter which I promise will not take as long to upload as this one did. And we will get down to the point in the next chapter. I know you are all waiting for the rescue of Jack so we will get to that soon but for now:

Until next time,
~ Maddie :)

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Word Count: 1270