My Chemical Romance One-Shots

If I Stayed (Frerard)

I had turned 18 years old seven hours ago. As soon as midnight struck, I'd ditched my no-good abusive parents and hopped on a flight to New Jersey, where I used to live. Where I met the one person who could understand me, whom I was ripped apart from, whom I couldn't even give an explanation. But I'll see him today. I remembered his address, hoping he still lived there. We were both 18, but maybe he had left for collage or something. Not likely, with his grades. But he always wanted to go to art school. It was a passion of his, art I mean. I really hoped he wasn't dating someone else, and I'd have a chance to explain my absence. It wasn't like I wanted to leave, or even knew it was going to happen before it did. I hopde, above all else, that he wouldn't hate me. I don't know if I could live, knowing my Gee hated me. Being apart from him was bad enough, sometimes I'd just wanted nothing more than to jump off a bridge.

A nice, humble suicide at the ludicrous idea of not being able to see him. The menace of my parents, the hurt I wanted to inflict on my parents for breaking us apart almost taking over. Because he was my everything.

I walked by Belleville High school, remembering the first time I had met my wonderful boyfriend. Ex boyfriend, but I'd hoped to change that. I remember running into him, I was new in school, only been in classes for two days. 

I'd literally walked into him. He was on the floor, covered in blood bruises and tears. He was sat on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest, rocking back and forth, obviously trying not to cry. But it was too late, he was crying and shivering into himself. Maybe he was trying to stop the pain. I'll never know, I suppose. I took him to the bathroom to get cleaned up. He was too stubborn to go to the nurse. I cleaned his injuries with water, and it didn't take me long to notice the scars and scabs lacing his already bruised arm. He told me why he did it, eventually. I told him why I did it. We both cut, plain and simple. My parents abused me. His parents just didn't care.

I didn't know exactly when it happened, but over time we fell in love. It wasn't a fake love, far from it. It was our everything. and we had a wonderful relationship, keeping each other strong against the desire to cut, eradicating the need entirely.

We went through the bullying together; we did everything together. We were in love, plain and easily spotted. His brother noticed. All of our few friends noticed. They were excited for us. Everyone was fine with it. That is, until my parents found out about it. To this day, I don't know how it spread through the grape vine to them, the news like the wind, touching everything and everyone. It's why they dragged me, screaming and crying away from Gerard. You see, the news did not exactly make them happy. 

Far from happy at that. I remember my father yelling at me, hitting me. Not too bad, though. At the time I thought that was a good sign. I thought it meant he was just drunk, and really didn't give a flying fuck. But it just meant he was saving his energy for someone else. Gerard. My Gerard.

He had to be hospitalized after what my father did, the injuries were that bad. I snuck to the hospital to see him. The next day, my father told me to pack my bags. I did, not quite knowing what was going on.

We left as soon as my bags were packed. I didn't even get to say goodbye, leave a note, anything. I didn't have a phone. I couldn't have called him. I was gone. After I realized I wasn't going to see my Gerard for a long time, the uncontrollable crying started, the desire to cut so strong. But I resisted, I resisted for the moment I'd see him again, I didn't want any bad blood between us. 

Finished with my reminiscence, I walked up to the Way house hold, eager to see my tie to life. I knocked on the wood door, awaiting my love. I could hardly wait.

Instead his brother opened the door. But Mikey looked different, less alive than usual. Older somehow. But then, I hadn't seen him in a year.

"Frank..." he whispered, tears leaking from his eyes. 

"Hey Mikey. Is Gerard in?" I asked, a bit worried by his tears, coming off my excited high.

"Frank...Gee's dead." He croaked.

"How?" I whispered, my eyes wide, head reeling in shock. How? How could my Gee be...dead?

"He...jumped off the old light house after you left." There were tears running down his face, mine too. 

And that's where I am now. Mikey likely blames me for his brother's death. Hell, I blame me do his brother's death. He only thing keeping me going was knowing he'd be there for me when I got back. I guess not.

There are no more tears, though. Because, though I'm filled with sorrow, I can't help but hope to see Gee again.

I look down at the jagged rocks below me, so far down, yet distinct in the cool night air. I wonder how Gerard fell, when exactly he did it, what he was thinking. I hear the town's church bells chime, signaling midnight. At the fateful chime, I climb over the railing and leap, hoping more than anything that Gee will be waiting for me in the afterlife as I feel the air whip against me.

But there is no afterlife.