Nothing Left to Burn [DISCONTINUED]

Chapter 6 - Rewriting History

Negan kept a careful eye on the gradually emptying gas tank as they drove through the night. If he was being honest with himself, he'd absolutely had dreams of running away with Aven and living happily together with no cares aside from killing walkers. But he knew those dreams took place in an idealistic world, where they somehow had sustinance, shelter, and everything they needed to live a comfortable, happy life. In reality, they had enough supplies for a good start: a few cans of gas and a car of supplies waiting for them. But sooner rather than later, all that would run out and they'd have to work harder at survival.

They rode in relative silence, neither sure what to even say or where to begin. Negan had been expecting to pick up right where they left off, but now they didn't even have their past to share. The whole time, Aven kept her chin rested on her hand, staring out the window at nothing. Even with the car's high beams on, they were shrouded in darkness, only seeing a few yards in front of them at a time. The world before them was a constant moving image of a once well-paved road being reclaimed by the earth, a tunnel of trees, grass, asphalt, and the black night sky.

Aven couldn't get the feeling off her mind of Negan's arms around her, or his mouth on hers. There was something nice about it, something that made her want more, but mostly it left her consumed with unsettling thoughts. No one had touched her like that in years, and the last person to do so did it against her will. She practically drew blood with how hard she was biting her lip, because the pain was the only thing that would keep her from slipping fully into the horrible memories. If she didn't keep herself distracted enough, she could feel hands creeping up her body and pulling at her clothes. Once when the feeling became too strong, she let out an involuntary huff, trying to keep from tearing up.

"You should get some sleep, doll," Negan said, mistaking the sound for fatigue. "There should be a blanket in that backpack if you want to lie down in the backseat."

"No, that's okay," she replied quietly. Yes, she was tired. She hadn't slept the night before, and she only slept the night before that because her exhaustion got the better of her. But right now, she had even more reason than her nightmares to keep herself awake. She didn't want to fall asleep at the mercy of this strange man. Oddly, she felt entirely comfortable with him, but that very fact made her uncomfortable. It didn't matter how she felt, she thought. It only mattered that it was theoretically stupid to let her guard down.

"Av, you must have been up since early this morning." Av. He was so casual with her and it only served to conflict her more, make her more comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. "I'm wide a-fucking-wake right now but I'm gonna need you drive eventually. So you need to sleep."

"I don't want to," she mumbled, stifling a yawn.

"Why? Because of the nightmares?" Her face didn't change, her gaze still out the window, but she was taken aback at his mention of the nightmares. How did he know? Of course she knew how he knew, but it still felt too bizarre. She had no memory of telling him about her nightmares or having any around him, so it almost felt like he was just psychic. Or a stalker. When she didn't answer, Negan knew he was right. "Your nightmares can't hurt you. No matter what happens, I'll be here when you wake up."

I'll be here when you wake up. She'd heard him say that before. She was sure of it. The sound of those words coming out of his mouth was more intense and more precise than any deja vu she'd ever experienced. And he noticed the way she responded, letting out an astonished breath and flicking her eyes towards him.

"What?" he asked, furrowing his brow at the way she was staring at him, like she was trying to read something on his face that wasn't there.

"Nothing," she mumbled, turning back away.