Nothing Left to Burn [DISCONTINUED]

Chapter 11 - Bonding

The sun started to set and Negan stopped the car so he could refill the gas tank while there was still light. Between the trunk of the car they'd stolen from Hilltop and the stash of supplies Arat had gathered, they had three extra cans of gas. All things considered, they had it good for two people alone on the road in the apocalypse.

Negan got back in the warm car, rubbing his ice-cold bare hands together. His and Aven's gloves had been left at the Sanctuary and he'd wait until they found shelter to start looking through all the boxes Arat packed for more. He looked over at Aven who was curled up asleep, hugging her knees to her chest and leaning against the window with her dark auburn curls hiding her face. He wanted so badly to tuck her hair behind her ear so he could see her face, to pull her into his lap and hold her. It was excruciating having her back and not being able to touch her, not being able to share everything they'd shared between them. She'd only been asleep for an hour and he hated to disturb her now that she was finally getting some rest, but he needed input.

"Hey doll, wake up," he said softly, reaching over to gently squeeze her shoulder. She flinched at his touch but woke otherwise slowly, grunting with displeasure at being disturbed. "Sorry to wake you but we need a game plan for the night." She only grunted again in response. "It's getting dark. I'll keep going down the highway for a while but I don't wanna drive all night tonight. You wanna stay in the car for the night or you wanna try to find shelter?"

"Car," she grunted, still half-asleep, stoned, and too lazy to even think about moving. But she was awake enough to remember a rule she used to follow when traveling alone in the apocalypse. "But pull off the road and hide the car," she added.

"Good idea," he replied. A half hour later, just as the last of the daylight disappeared over the horizon, he pulled the car into an abandoned barn. He took Lucille from the trunk and double-checked every corner of the place to make sure there were no walkers or, possibly worse, live humans. He also walked the perimeter a few times to be sure no one was around watching them, but it was obvious not a soul was around for miles, and that's likely how it would be from now on. Negan and Aven were effectively all alone in the world.

He returned to the car to find Aven still asleep and turned off the engine, having left it on to keep her warm. He meant what he said about sleeping together to stay warm, though it definitely wouldn't get so cold that they'd have to resort to taking their clothes off to share body heat. Mustering all the confidence he'd lost while imprisoned, he walked around the car and opened the passenger side door, earning an inconvenienced groan from Aven when he forced himself into the car, shutting the door and scooting in next to her so they were squished together in the seat. Not fully waking, she tried to twist around so she had more room but he just used the move as an opening to take up the whole seat and pull her into his lap. Much to his surprise, she didn't fight him. He thought this would at least warrant an argument.

"You're lucky you're comfortable," she grunted dazedly, settling in against him the same way she'd been settled against the seat. He was lucky she was high, and he knew it. He wondered if he was taking advantage, but mostly he didn't care. He knew he wasn't going to hurt her, and he needed this. They were both exhausted and still adjusting to this big change, and he figured they'd just drift off to sleep, so he was surprised when she spoke again and even more surprised at what she said.

"I'm sorry for being a dick," she said, her voice muffled slightly with one side of her face resting against his chest. She didn't even open her eyes; she was practically talking in her sleep.

"What do you mean?" he asked

"I'm sorry for being mean to you."

"Mean?" he laughed, raising his hand mindlessly to stroke her hair but stopping himself for fear that she'd realize she didn't want to be near him and move away.