I'm Spongebob? (Stony AU)

Chapter 14: The genius, billionaire, adorable philanthropist

"Tony..." Steve started with a sigh, "You didn't--"

"What kind of a guest would I be if I arrived without presents?" Tony asked as he carefully settled the last tray of lasagna into the back seat of Steve's car, careful not to slam the car door as he closed it.

"The kind they are used to." Steve replied flatly, moving over to open the passenger side door for Tony.

"Such a gentleman." Tony smirked as he slid into the shotgun seat.

"Besides..." Tony whispered once Steve slid into his own seat, "I want to make a good impression on them, I know how the media conveys me, and how I tend to convey myself and--"

"Tony they already love you." Steve said cutting him off, "I'm not kidding, ever since Saturday it's been not stop talk about how great Tony is." He stopped and looked at the wide eyed Tony, the ghost of a small shy smile appearing on his face. "It's quite sickening really," Steve said with a smirk, Tony returned one immediately.

"Well of course they do, I am Tony fucking Stark afterall." Tony said with a faux posh accent, his smile big and bright on his face.

"The genius, billionaire, adorable philanthropist." Steve said with conviction as he started the car.

"I'm so fucking adorable." Tony agreed earnestly as he fist pumped the air. It felt like his heart was beating a thousand beats per minute, he felt like a little school girl staring at her idol as he looked over to Steve, completely aware that the smile on his face was toothy and taking up probably more than half his face and would not fade away anytime soon. But that was okay because Steve's smile reflected his own and it didn't seem to be fading either. Leave it to Steve to turn one of my self hate rants into...well this Tony thought as his hands fiddled with themselves on his lap, his minds replaying over and over the way Steve said adorable and his smile just getting bigger and bigger as they started driving to Nat's house.

****

"Alright Rogers. Just explain it to me one more time." Clint said as he watched Tony off in the distance playing peek a boo with Nathaniel while Lila, Clint's four year old daughter, was trying her best to braid Tony's locks of hair. Clint smiled in adoration of the way she would inadvertently stick out her little tongue in concentration.

"There is nothing to explain." Steve repeated, emphasizing his exasperation. "Tony is a good friend."

"Okay, no. We were in Europe for about two weeks, three-ish at most. You are telling me that in that time, you befriended Tony Stark? " Clint stared at him wide eyed waiting for the big shockwave to hit Steve.

"Yup." Steve simply responded before taking another sip of his water.

"No." Nat said, sneaking up behind the two men. "It's more than that Clint. Not only are they good friends now, they are interested parties." She said raising an eyebrow.

Clint raised his eyebrow at his wife who had just sat down with them, she apparently needed no catching up because she quickly raised both of her eyebrows and sent Steve a knowing smile.

"Wait..." Clint said slowly, "I don't understand what that means." Eyes darting back and forth between Natasha and Laura, finally settling on Steve's to see if he knew what they were talking about.

"I'm out of here." Was all Steve said in resignation.

"Don't worry, I'll catch them up." Natasha teased as he made to leave, he rolled his eyes in response but his smile betrayed the expression he had hoped to convey.

"How's it going tiger?" Steve smirked as he reached where Tony was lying on the floor, kneeling to lay down next to him.

****

"Tony thanks again for all the food you brought. It was incredibly sweet, you really shouldn't have." Laura said as she hugged Tony goodbye.

"And the fact that you made it yourself..." Clint added when it was his turn to hug Tony goodbye. The rest of the group muttered along another series of Thank you s and It was so good!

Tony laughed, "really guys, it was no big deal," he lied, not bothering in telling them that he had gone through about three dozen trays of burnt lasagnas in the past three days in an attempt to create something edible.

****

"Dooo" Tony said drawling out the o once Steve pulled up to his driveway, "um, do you wanna come in for a drink?"

"Um." Steve said, his eyes darting at the car's clock 11:58pm, "um" he said again his mind going blank because the offer was unexpected and oh my god how he wanted to say yes but--

"No you're right," Tony suddenly said waves of self hatred flowing through him, idiot look at the time, "it's Wednesday, you have work in the morning, and I'm like a forty five minute drive from your house. Shit why did I let you drive me home? It would have been faster if you'd just driven home and I called for a driver. Sorry, that was inconsiderate, that's me though, the selfish basta-"

"Tony!" Steve nearly shouted as he threw a finger up in the air, he hated hearing Tony say those terrible things about himself, no one should hate themselves that much. Steve looked at a wide eyed confused Tony, shit, say something "language!" Steve said as explanation in the most serious face and tone he could muster, before breaking into a grin that caused both him and Tony to erupt into giggles.

"Are you sure you are okay driving this late though? I mean you've been up since god knows what hour and, and I've got spare bedrooms, you can even have my bed, you know, get even with me, and your workplace is like a twenty minute drive from my house versus what like thirty five from yours? Not that I've checked or anything because that would be weird." Tony stopped talking and stared at Steve.

"Oh..." Steve said after a few seconds of silence realizing he was meant to respond, "I... um..."

"And I've got plenty of clothes you can borrow so you, you wouldn't have to worry about the same day clothes tomorrow at work, and I've got a charger for your phone and I'm sure I have an new toothbrush somewhere that you can have." Tony hastily added.

A few more seconds passed and Steve slowly opened his mouth again.

"Um and if you say yes then... we can like, have a midnight snack or something, fridge is fully stocked, lot's of ice cream...also lots of pasta....and um...there's tv...and, well other stuff, and, although... you'll probably just want to go to sleep cause...work. Although, who knows, you may want to shower...you can borrow some boxers too, not like I've never borrowed yours, and actually we still haven't talked about how you got those on me....anyways... yeah" Tony said, realizing the reason he kept ranting was because he was afraid of hearing Steve's answer, which would obviously be a resounding no. He looked up at Steve with hopeful eyes anyways.

Steve smiled fondly at him, holding in the smirk and the internal screaming because ahh showers and boxers and memories, "you had me at doooooo."

"I don't think my do was quite that long...." Tony said trying to play off his excitement.