I'm Spongebob? (Stony AU)

Chapter 16

A/N: Steve's rant is written again at the end - but normally written

"Woahoho what is this?" Clint said making his way to Steve's desk, "our golden boy is twenty minutes late to work?" He said shocked as he looked over to Sam.

Sam smiled, "meeting Tony's changed him, Clint. Been coming in late a lot."

"What?" Clint said jaw-dropping, "I need to leave the country more often."

"So, what's your excuse for letting the coffee I so graciously bought you go cold again?" Sam eyed down Steve, who was barely settling down into his chair.

He glared at the two men looming over his desk, "if you must know..."

"Oh, we must." Assured Clint with a nod.

"Finding an outfit took longer than expected," Steve said, proud of his technically not lying skills.

Sam eyed his leather jacket. "That new?"

Steve stared at his computer screen, mustering his self-proclaimed skill, "...it is to me...."

"Spill." Clint said, moving over a stack of folders to rest a thigh on Steve's desk.

Steve grabbed the cup of coffee left by his computer and took a small sip. It wasn't that cold.

"Rogers." Clint said.

"I drove Tony back to his place last night andendedupstayingthereandweslepttogether--butnotlikesleptslepttogether--welltechnicallywedidsleepsleeptogether--butlikeactuallysleptsleptlikesnoringslept--onthecouchandthenRhodeyfoundusanditwasawkwardbutIdidn'twanttomakeitawkwardsinceapparentlytoTonyitwasn'tthatawkward--andthenwehadbreakfastandhesaidIcouldpicksomethingoutfromhiscloset--andmanhisclosetisbigandweendedup--orIguessIendeduptryingonnearlyallofhisclothes--thoughIguessyoucouldsayitwasthetwoofussincehekepthandingmestuff--and it was a lot of fun causehehadJARVISplaymusicanditfeltlikewewerelittlekidsplayingdressupandwetalkedabunchthroughoutthewholething--ohanddidImentionwespentthewholenighttalkingtoo--yeahwetalkedtillwefellasleeponeachotherbutitsreallynobigdeal can you guys stop making it such a big deal? " Steve said, taking a much needed gasp of air.

"Awwww." Clint started, Sam joining in, "looks like someone's got it bad."

"Wait you guys understood what I said? I don't even know what I said." Steve said staring at their grins.

"My girlfriend of five years talks really fast when she's excited, I've gotten pretty good at understanding gibberish. " Sam said with pride.

"Yeah, the gibberish was a no for me, but I read lips and can understand them no matter how fast they are going." Clint grinned.

"Hey stop looking at his lips," Sam nudged Clint, "he's mine."

"No. It sounds like he's Tony's." Clint shrugged.

"Hey I'm not anybody's. I'm my own man. Now, shoo. I have a lot of important work stuff to do." Steve said grabbing a random folder.

"Mmhmm." Sam and Clint hummed in unison as they made their way back to their desks.

Steve was about to start working on a report when his phone buzzed. Tony. Steve looked up at Clint and Sam's desks to make sure they weren't spying on him before allowing himself a grin as he read the message.

Hey, I had fun last night, and this morning ;) hope I didn't make you too late to work

Steve chuckled, knowing what that text would make his friends, and anyone else prying through his phone, think. Just a Steve was about to text a response, he received another one.

Squidward ;P

Steve's grin quickly deflated into a grimace. He regretted ever saying anything about the whole nickname thing. Now he was going to be stuck getting called Squidward; a constant reminder that Tony saw him as nothing more than a friend. He typed a response before turning his phone to silent and getting back to work.

Me too. Spongebob :) And no don't worry I'm fine. I'll talk to you soon

Notes: 

Here's what Steve told the guys, but with spaces! Sorry it's all smushed together up there, (and no commas!!) it's just poor nervous Steve forgot how to take breaths between words /.\

"I drove Tony back to his place last night and ended up staying there and we slept together -- but not like slept slept together -- well technically we did sleep sleep together -- but like actually slept slept like snoring slept--on the couch and then Rhodey found us and it was awkward but I didn't want to make it awkward since apparently to Tony it wasn't that awkward -- and then we had breakfast and he said I could pick something out from his closet -- and man his closet is big and we ended up -- or I guess I ended up trying on nearly all of his clothes -- though I guess you could say it was the two of us since he kept handing me stuff -- and it was a lot of fun cause he had JARVIS play music and it felt like we were little kids playing dress up and we talked a bunch throughout the whole thing -- oh and did I mention we spent the whole night talking too -- yeah we talked till we fell asleep on each other but its really no big deal can you guys stop making it such a big deal? " Steve said, taking a much needed gasp of air.