I'm Spongebob? (Stony AU)

22

"Hey." Steve said into his phone as he sat down on his bed, flopping onto his back.

"Hi." A voice answered on the other line.

"Nat?" Steve's brows furrowed.

"Steve." She replied. Voice steady.

"Hey!"—He tried to sound casual— "How's your weekend getaway?" He fidgeted with the pencil in his hand as he straightened up on the bed.

"Good." Nat smirked, sitting up on her end, "the weather's nice here." She looked out the window of her hotel room.

"Have you girls been up to any shenanigans? Any I—as the best man—should know about?"

"C'mon Steve. You know me better than that." She smirked, "I wouldn't tell you a thing."

"Of course not." Steve laughed. He clenched his jaw as he tried to think of something else to say.

Nat beat him to it. "So... why you callin Jane?"

"Better question. Why are you answering her phone for her?"

"She's asleep already. You do realize it's 2 am over here, right? And she's pregnant..." Nat looked behind her the closed gauriding the Queen bed, and it's two sleeping mama's, from the light of the living room .

"Oh. Right." Steve glanced at his own watch. "Why are you awake?"

"Cause I'm not a mom. Smith and I are the only ones still awake."

"Woohoo, single girls!!!" He could hear Smith shouting in the background.

"Not yet married girls," corrected Nat.

"Where are you guys?" Steve asked.

"Back in our hotel room. The two moms are passed out on the beds."

"So, just you and Smith?"

"Yup. We're watching old movies and making fun of the characters." She smiled at Smith and the mess of popcorn they had made from throwing it at the tv.

"Have ring sizes come up by any chance?" He wondered. "Is that something that would come up in casual conversation."

"No? Why? Should it?" Nat's brows quirked as she glanced at Smith, thankfull she hand't put the phone on speaker.

"No," Steve tried playing it off,  "I'm just curious what you ladies talk about while we're not there. Maybe you compare jewelry sizes."

Another silence.

"Why you callin Jane?" Nat finally asked again.

"I wanted to check up on you all."

"Why not call Smith. She is my maid of honor."

"Yup. That, that is true. Jane's was just the first number that appeared on my phone. In my recents. It's— It's a new phone. Well, you know. Don't really know how to work it too well. Just easiest to call Jane."

The truth was Steve wanted someone to talk to about his whole conversation with Tony. Their planned and upcoming walk. She was the only one he'd actually told about his crush. Grant it, it had been by accident, but she hadn't batted an eye.

He knew the rest of the group had probably figured it out, but it was easier to talk to someone who already knew, without having to say it. Rather than to have a whole conversation about it.

"Did you know I'm pan?" Nat suddenly said after a beat of silence.

"Huh?" Steve said, so lost in his thoughts he'd almost forgotten he'd been on the phone.

"Yup."

"Um... " Steve's brows furrowed. "What's that? I thought you were Russian?"

"No." Nat smiled softly, successfully suppressing a laugh that wanted to escape her. "It's, it's a sexuality. It means I don't care what's under your underwear. If I like you, I like you."

"Oh!" Steve said, eyes widening.

"You've been with..."

"Yup. Not just guys."

"How... how was it?"

"It... partially depends on how good the partner is. But for the most part, always good!"

"Does Buck know?"

"Yup! But not because it was this big deal I had to disclose. We're just... really big on communication. One day, we were talking about our past partners, and mine just weren't all men."

Steve processed that for a second. Tentatively, he asked, "... How did he react?"

"As you would expect. Lovingly, acceptingly, nonchalantly. It was as if I told him my middle name. Not that big of a deal, but it made him feel closer to me. He was thankful I let him know more of the real me."

Steve paused, considering. "Did... Did he put you up to this?"

"No. But I know how much you mean to him. How much he wants to be there for you... Know your middle name."

Steve stared at the carpet in front of him, his leg bouncing up and down. "I know...." he finally exhaled into the phone.

"In your own time. Nobody wants to pressure you either. Okay?"

"Okay." Then added, "I love you Nat."

"I love you Steve. Take care of our boy ok?"

"Ok." Before he could say anything else he heard Smith starting to pipe up in the background.

"I'm Demi!" She yelled towards the receiver. Then quieter at Nat, "Sorry, I wanted to be included in the conversation."

"Demi?" Steve asked. "Like... you're... a half god?"

"It's another sexuality," Nat explained, putting the phone on speaker and pausing the movie.

"But yeah, I could totally be a half-god too!" Smith said bobbing her head. "In this case though, I am talking about demisexual, it means I don't feel sexually attracted to anyone until I form a strong emotional bond with them."

Steve thought for a second. "Oh. So... do you also... pan the crowd? Like Nat?"

The two girls tried to settle down their smiles. 

Smith continued. "Um, so yeah, someone could be panromantic demisexual, or demi-pansexual--like what you're thinking about-- or biromantic demisexual, a demi-bisexual. In my case, to the best of my knowledge, I'm hetero-demisexual."

Steve's face scrunched. "Huh?"