I N S A N I T Y (J.Valeska/Joker)

Chapter Four ~ Heart Break

     I vigorously whip Jerome's blood from my lips as more and more tears fall from my face, I can't believe what just happened my mind is running a million miles per second. Was this what he was going to tell me before getting the call? was it all just an act? was anything real?

     I never liked his mom but a parent is a parent, I'd do anything to get mine and Bruce's back. Yet he killed his mother. KILLED HER! Not only that but he never told me, though maybe that was for the best... would Jerome had killed me too? If I had known. I shiver at the thought and at the cold, his sweater doing nothing for my exposed legs. worst part is I can't bring myself to hate him, he's all I have he is the only person that can make me feel whole again. I cry more realizing that.

     I turn around hearing Jim Gordon talk to someone as Jerome is taken out of the GCPD, he is smiling like a manic and his smile widens when his eyes catch mine but I can see his eyes soften.

"I have big plans for us my Raven! Don't you worry." He laughs his head going back as he does so "we'll be the King and Queen of Gotham!"

     I step back as he's brought by me and look away from him, I don't even know how I feel about anything anymore I can feel everything slipping once again. I clench my teeth and look away until he's in the van to Arkham Asylum and long gone, making me feel numb once again.

"Carmen.." Jim say making me turn to him "I'm so sorry"

"It's.. not your fault Jim." I sigh wiping my face as Alfred pulls up. "Gotham eventually turns everyone crazy.. I just never thought it would turn him."

Jim nods and puts a hand on my shoulder "I'm here if you and your brother ever need me"

    I send him a small smile and nod, turning away I walk towards the car and get in ignoring Alfred's concerned look.

"Miss-"

"I'm sorry Alfred, I don't want to talk.." I look down "can we please just go home?"

"Very well" he replies driving off to the manor.

~~~

     Jim Gordon was in the house today, Alfred told me he was talking to Bruce about something. I was still worried for Alfred, he had gotten stabbed recently and I didn't want to lose him too, I knew Bruce didn't want that either.

     I brushed my hair for the first time in a while and dressed up a little, as I opened the door to my wardrobe Jerome's sweater was the first thing I saw. I frowned at it and just barely was able to pushed it aside, I instead grabbed my over sized fluffy green sweater and black ripped jeans.

     I then made my way downstairs taking deep breaths looking around feeling as though I haven't been in the rest of our manor in ages, it feels cold and empty now.. not homey and complete. I make my way to the room I knew they were talking in, but I stopped in front of the door a question Jim asked to Bruce making me curious.

"You two lied about who stabbed him, didn't you?"

"That's why you're here. Is it?" I heard Bruce ask back.

"Yes," there was a pause "did you? Lie to me."

"No" was Bruce's reply, though it should shaky and untrue.

"If we don't have a description of the culprit, we won't find him."

"I wish I could help you, detective."

"Alfred wants to go after him alone, that's why you lied to me."

"No"

"Bruce whatever Alfred is up to you have to stay out of it, it's not your fight."