The Man I Know I'm Not [Frerard] (Sequel To Tell Me I'm A Bad Man)

Nine - We're The New Face Of Failure

"I'll see you later." I planted a kiss on Gerard's lips, and smiled. "Okay?"

He nodded, kissing me again. "Have fun."

"I'll try." I climbed out of the car and went to the front door of Ryan's house, knocking on it.

It opened a few seconds later, revealing Ray, and I waved to Gerard before stepping inside and closing the door.

"He's freaking out." Ray said, leading me into the front room, where Ryan sat.

"I'm not freaking out." He hissed, wringing his hands together and staring into space.

"He's freaking out." Ray muttered, before heading into the kitchen.

I sat down beside Ryan, who had progressed to rubbing his arms. "Are you okay?" I asked, and he nodded before shaking his head.

"What if he's not there?" He said quietly. "What if he's there, but he changes his mind? What if something happens to me? What if -"

"Ry, hey, it's gonna be okay." I took both of his hands, but he still wouldn't look at me. He was shaking, nerves clearly flooding his system and making him agitated.

"What if he marries me but doesn't want me? I can't do this, Frank. I can't. I can't. I can't go. I can't get married. I'm too young. I'm not good enough. I - I -"

"Calm down. Just breathe."

He shook his head. "I can't, Ray's right, I'm freaking out, it's my wedding day and I'm fucking freaking out -" a stream of blood trickled from his nose, and my eyes widened. "- I don't know what to do -"

"Ray, get an ice pack, a bowl of warm water and a cloth, now!" I called out, and Ryan's eyes turned panicky.

"What's happening?" He ripped one of his hands out of my grip and touched his face, feeling blood on his fingers. "Oh shit!" He squeaked. "No, no this can't be happening, it can't, I -"

"Ryan." I said firmly, placing my hands on his trembling shoulders. "Breathe. You know what you need to do when you have a nosebleed. Just breathe, and it'll be fine."

His eyes watered, and tears rolled slowly down his face. "What's the point in getting married when I'm gonna die soon?"

"You're not going to die." Ray came back with the items we needed, and I put the ice pack into Ryan's hand. "Fucking trust me."

He whimpered, but pinched his nose and tilted his head forward a little. Ray found a bowl for him to spit blood into, and he pressed the ice pack against his face. He closed his eyes, breathing through his mouth and trying to stop shaking. I rubbed his back soothingly and he leaned against me as best as he could while holding his nose.

"Brendon loves you." I said. "He would never leave you. I'm sure he's freaking out as much as you."

"Bet he's not having a fucking nosebleed, though." He muttered, and I shrugged.

"Well no, but I'm sure he's just as nervous. This is the biggest day of your lives."

The three of us sat in silence for about ten minutes, while we waited for Ryan's nosebleed to stop. He checked it, and the blood flow had stopped, but he was still shaking.

"Here." I said softly, taking the bowl of warm water and a cloth from Ray. "Look at me." He did so, and I dipped the cloth in the water and wiped the blood from his face. "You're gonna look beautiful. Brendon won't be able to take his eyes off of you." Tears trickled down his face, and his lower lip trembled. "And you know what? Neither will anyone else."