Til Death Do Us Part

The Call

I just laid there. Something felt wrong. The cold space beside me felt empty, almost as if it would never be filled again. Oh god is Levi planning on leaving me? I know he's pissed, but is he that pissed? I turned on my side and just looked to Levi's side of the bed. Last night he held me so close to him despite me treating him like shit. I can't help but just wish he was still next to me holding me. I wouldn't feel this bad if he was.

I closed my eyes and just imagined his face there beside mine. My mind snapped back to a specific memory. It was back when our work schedules weren't so hectic. Both of us were able to sleep in and when I woke up he was already awake. His warm hand was stroking my cheek and his fingers running through my hair. When my eyes opened he wished me a good morning before leaning in and placing a sweet kiss on my lips. His other hand moving to my hip pulling me closer to him as I deepened the kiss. That was one of the best mornings of my life. The rest of the day we were able to lay in bed and just watch movies and relax. I wish our lives were still that simple.

However, I opened my eyes and he was still gone. The space beside me was still cold. Still empty. I rolled over laying on my back and just looked at the ceiling. I couldn't wait until I could see him and just apologize. I wanted another one of those days between us. I wanted another night where we could just be together and not have to worry about work stealing us away. I want another night with him where we just relax and embrace each other. I just want to be with him. That's all I've ever wanted.

I don't know how long exactly I've been laying in bed. I know I should probably go back to sleep since I didn't get much last night. I know tonight I'll have to go into work and it will be another lonely night without Levi. I just laid there staring at the ceiling dreading the long day before me. Today is just another bad day that I have to fight through.

I sat up and messed with the covers just procrastinating actually getting up and getting ready for the day. I have to get up now or later, might as well be now. Besides, I should probably get up and see if Levi's here. I know he had work, but who knows maybe he got off early. Doubtful, but yet I can't help but be optimistic despite knowing he's not here. I just hope Levi got my note this morning. I really hope he knows I didn't mean to snap at him.

I got out of bed and headed into the bathroom to get ready for the day. Walking in I noticed the broken mirror and remembered the night before. The glass that had fallen to the counter and the floor last night was gone now. I guess Levi did clean it up. As I got ready I dragged my feet the entire time. I had to fight the urge to give up on the day and go back to bed. I mean all I ever do is pout, mope, and think the worst. I'd rather at least try to be a bit more hopeful for once in my life. I finished up and walked into the empty living room.

I saw my note still sitting on the table where I left it and couldn't help but feel guilty. Why couldn't I just apologize to him last night? I was there laying with him for hours and I couldn't bring myself to say a simple apology. He probably didn't even bother to read my note. Usually, when he does he takes it with him. I mean he's probably pissed at me. Not that I can blame him he has every right to be. I yelled at him for something that he has o control of. I was being a downright dick and even mocked him. Hell, I'm mad at me too.

I walked over to the note that was still sitting on the table. I might as well throw it away, it's pointless especially since he doesn't want to read-. This isn't my note. I picked up the piece of paper that has Levi's handwriting on it before sitting down at the table to read it.

"Text me when you take your meds. We will talk through it when I get home just like we always do. This is something we really need to discuss since it's not the first time we've fought about it. We will get through this. ~ Sincerely, your husband who still loves you very much."

I just sat there and stared at the note. He's not mad? How is he not mad? I reread it about 10 times before actually realizing that this is what he wrote, that I wasn't imagining it. He's really not mad at me. He even made sure to tell me he still loves me.

I got up with a new spring in my step and took my meds making sure to send Levi the same text I send him every time I take them. Immediately I decided to release my shift tonight. Surprisingly it was picked up almost instantly by my coworker, then again she did say she was a little tight on cash. I started thinking about what to do for the night. I needed to make it up to Levi tonight and if I remember correctly he gets off work around 7.

I looked around the house and decided I would do anything and everything to show him that I'm sorry. Cleaning, cooking, etc. I pulled out the cleaning supplies and got straight to work. I spent all day doing whatever I could around the house. I cleaned everything. Twice. Three times. I swept and scrubbed the floors. I dusted everything. I cleaned the dishes even though they were already done. I washed the windows. I took out the trash. I even ran to the store to get a temporary replacement mirror for the bathroom.

After getting back from the store I went straight into the kitchen and started preparing dinner. I pulled out the ingredients and the bowl. I started making a nice soup before starting on the actual dinner. I made Levi's favorite and started setting the table for when he got home. When I finished cooking I knew that it shouldn't be long until Levi got back since it was already close to 7. I sat there waiting watching the door and the clock.

I don't know why I feel so anxious to see him, it's not like he's going to divorce me on sight... Oh god is he going to divorce me on sight. He was mad at me he was pissed he- no stop spiraling. I picked up Levi's note and reread it again. He's not angry, see he still loves you. I told myself as reassurance.

I sat there waiting for him to come home. I stared at the door just waiting for it to open. I waited and waited and waited. It never opened. I started to think of bad situations which only lead to worse. Maybe he was forced to work overtime? Maybe he was actually mad at me? Maybe he didn't want to see me? Maybe he's cheating on me? Maybe-. My phone rang.

I ran over to answer it. It's Levi calling me hopefully telling me he's on his way home he was just working late. Either that or he's leaving me. I answered the phone.

"Hey, Le-," I was cut off before I could finish talking.

"Is this Eren?" A man's voice had asked. There were strange noises going on in the background. I didn't recognize this voice but with it came a wave of all new fear and dread. I felt the air get ripped out of my lungs. My heart started beating just a little faster.

This is the call I had nightmares about. This is the call that I spent so many sleepless nights worrying about. This is the call I feared every time I answered my phone while Levi was away. This is the call every wife or husband of a police officer fears. "You're husband is in the hospital in critical condition."

I knew it was coming when I heard the voice, but I still wasn't ready for the punch to the gut that came with it. I felt like I couldn't take a full breath of air, almost like there were holes in my lungs. I was a little relieved that he didn't say dead, but critical condition is far from okay. I didn't waste another second before running to the counter where my keys were. I couldn't find them at first.

My hands were trembling so much I almost dropped my phone. My legs were shaking so bad I almost had to sit down. My heart beating so fast I started to get dizzy. I went to speak, to reply but my mind was spiraling with thoughts.

I pushed aside the vase filled with the dark crimson roses I had bought Levi not too long ago. Some were withered and others were alive. Sure enough, my keys were behind the vase. I grabbed them and headed out the door not bothering to even turn out the lights.

"Please tell me what happened," I finally managed to get out between my rapid breaths and scattered thoughts.