Til Death Do Us Part

Goodbye

The drive to the hospital was the longest drive I had ever been on. I would be lying if I said the thought of crashing my car into a brick wall didn't cross my mind more than once. However, Levi needed me. Now wasn't the time to have intrusive thoughts it was time to get to my husband. He had to be okay, if he isn't I don't know what I will do. At least that was my thought at the moment, now I know what I would do, I'm doing it. But that's not the important part right now.

I made it to the hospital safely despite swerving about a million times. It's really hard to stay in your lane with tears blurring your vision. Despite almost hitting so many cars, parked or not I ended up without a scratch. I know you're not supposed to talk on the phone while driving, but I didn't care at this moment. I had the man fill me in on what happened to Levi. He told me what he knew.

Levi was about to head in and clock out when a final call came through. There was a domestic abuse call, nothing too extreme, well that's what they had thought. When Levi knocked on the door and announced he was a cop apparently he was greeted with a gun the second the door opened.

That's what Levi had apparently told the backup that was called after a neighbor reported the gunshots. He blacked out as the ambulance was arriving. Apparently, he was shot 4 times. Two in the chest one in the shoulder and one in the arm. He had lost a lot of blood and no one was sure if any major organs were hit. From what he told me though, it didn't look so good. He was in surgery at the moment, but that wouldn't stop me from anxiously waiting in the waiting room.

I'm not religious, hell I thought I was an atheist, but I caught myself praying to every god and deity that I had ever heard of begging them that he would turn out okay. I don't even know how many hours had passed before someone walked out and told me he was out of surgery. He was still in critical conditions and at the moment all they could do was wait and keep an eye on him.

The one thing they were sure about was that he would be out cold for a while. However, they let me in his room. I have never seen him look so fragile before. There were so many tubes connected to him and a lot of machines beeping. His skin looked pale and had a blue tint to it. I just stood in the doorway with my feet glued to the floor.

I didn't even deserve to step foot in his room. Last time I actually spoke to him face to face I had picked a stupid little fight. If I would have known I would never have said anything. If I would have known I would have made sure to tell him how much he meant to me, how much I love him. That's what everyone says, if only. So many if's but they don't change the past. It's too little too late. The past is set in stone.

I took a breath and owned up to the guilt I was feeling and headed into the room. I sat down next to him and took his hand in mine. My hand was shaking, my body was shaking. My vision blurred and I put my head down on the bed and just cried.

The next day came without warning. I didn't sleep at all. Hell, I didn't even realize that it was the next day already until a nurse had walked in greeting me with a good morning. I was just surprised that they didn't kick me out since visiting hours were long past over. Then again even if they had tried I probably just tuned them out and refused to let go of Levi's hand.

The next three days were the longest days of my life. I hardly ever left Levi's side. I barely ate anything aside from when the nurse would forcibly sho me out of the room to make sure I was eating. I called my boss and told her I refuse to come in until Levi is out of the hospital. She wasn't too happy with that news, but she understood the urgency. I was just glad I had some sick days left. He coded more than once and it nearly scared me half to death.

The third day of me being there he finally opened his eyes. I heard the change in his heart monitor and looked up. He was awake and I felt my heart fill with joy. Of course, it was a premature celebration. He squeezed my hand as hard as he could, which wasn't very hard. He hoarsely whispered out a simple "I love you."

"I love you too," I rushed out. I had to make sure he knew that. I had to make sure my last words to him weren't those of hatred, but those of love. I didn't want to say goodbye but a part of me knew whether I liked it or not this truly was goodbye.

When his eyes closed again something was wrong. His hand felt limp in mine. The monitors started blaring. I backed away and let the nurses do their thing, but I knew that was it. They wouldn't be able to bring him back this time. That I love you was him saying goodbye.

I was ushered outside of the room while they worked, but I knew that this was it. Our vows rang through my ears. Til death do us part, we had told each other. But even in death, I didn't want to leave his side. I had no one else. I mean I love my sister to death, but I can never tell her how much I actually care about her. I can't even talk to her for more than 5 minutes without feeling like I've grown up a failure. She's accomplished everything, a great job, a nice house, free time. Whereas I just lost the one thing that completed my life. I was alone.

I knew what the nurse was telling me when she came out. She had come to deliver the bad news, however, there was still a part of me that held out hope. I kept telling myself Levi's strong, he's a fighter, he won't die. He was strong, he held out for three days. Three days! That's longer than I would have held out. Hell knowing myself I would have willed myself to die faster.

The drive home that night was quiet. I was tempted more than ever to drive my car off a bridge. However, I ended up back at home. I wasn't done yet. Levi needed a proper burial. If I couldn't at least do this then what kind of a husband would I be.

Walking into the house I looked at the withered and wilted dark crimson roses. I hadn't been home since I got the call. I was in the same filthy clothes that I was that night. The dinner I cooked still sitting in the oven that was turned off. I feared even opening it at first. I started making the funeral plans.

I refused to even shed a tear at first. I knew when I got started I wouldn't be able to stop. The next few days were hell. I waited and waited for the day of the funeral like a kid waiting for Christmas. I knew what I was going to do from the beginning. That's not what's important at the moment though.

During the funeral everything was quiet and people were crying. They gave me their condolences. Mikasa tried to comfort me, and I feel bad for avoiding her, but I knew she might stop me if she was able to read my body language enough.

While saying our final goodbyes I looked to the cloudless sky. It was such a beautiful day. Just how Levi would have liked it. I looked back at Levi's coffin and placed my hand on it.

"It's funny, I always thought I would be the first to die. Ya know with my lack of self-preservation and suicidal thoughts and all. Guess I was wrong, I have never wanted to be right about something more than now. I always wanted to be the first to go so I wouldn't have to deal with all this pain and the spiraling of my depression, but here we are. Anyway, I'm sorry my love, but it seems that I will be joining you quicker than expected.

Immediately after saying that I watched as a single drop of water fell on my hand. I looked back to the cloudless sky processing what I had seen before looking back at the drop on my hand. "Please don't cry Levi, you're gonna make me cry." When the funeral was over I knew so was my time here.

Whoever found this note thought it was probably just a normal suicide note, but I know this is a lot longer than a suicide note. Why am I writing all of this down? Well, because it's our story, and as sad as it may be it doesn't deserve to be forgotten. Since I'm not going to be around much longer to tell it I decided this was the next best thing. Though we are gone I hope our love will never die. I'm sorry for leaving so soon, but I couldn't wait to see Levi again. Goodbye~ Eren.

PS. I want whoever finds this note to know a few simple reminders. Never take life for granted. Never leave conflicts unresolved. Treat everyone with love. Most importantly, make sure the people around you know just how much you care about them.

Author's note~ There's one chapter left. It's probably going to be a short one, but there is one more left. Hope you enjoyed the story... despite the feels. ~TJ