Letters to him

Letter 5

Dear Noah,

I didn't really think I'd get too attached when I said I wanted to give us a chance. I thought I could do it, keeping emotional affair out of the picture because I've seen people dealing when it's over, I knew I'm not strong enough. Maybe I was deluded or maybe I wasn't rational. Whatever may be the case I've realized I was wrong. I was wrong for thinking that I could keep it that way.

I realized it after some time that I failed at keeping my distance, I didn't know this but now I do, you're my habit. Waking up to your texts is now a habit. I don't crave for attention until it's by you, and that's my habit now. I don't throw tantrums until I know you're there to pamper me and that's my habit now. I don't know how did you manage make it in here breaking the walls, maybe I let you in easy. None of these realities terrified me not until now. Last night our quarrel made me realize that when it ends it's going to break me and I've fallen too deep now to come out of it alive.

Yours,
Patricia