deluded ♔ hemmings

motherly advice

deluded; motherly advice

l u k e

        Has there ever been a time where you're thinking so hard, that it seems as if you're not thinking at all? Almost as if your mind is drawing a blank, and you can't comprehend any of your thoughts, even though there's a million things going on inside of your head? Well, that's my current situation.

        I'm sitting in the break room at work, a notepad laid out in front of me, and a pen twirling in my fingers. I tap the pen against the wooded surface, the thuds loud against the quietness of the room.

        "Fuck, Luke. You have slept with countless girls, this should be a walk in the park." I mutter to myself, my teeth gnawing at my lower lip, as I lean back in the chair. I toss the pen on the table, my legs pushing me back, creating space between me and the old, worn out piece of wooden furniture.

        I was currently trying to figure out how to sleep with Blake. It's pretty much damn near impossible considering the girl won't even speak to me.

        My hand reaches into my back pocket and grips the glass object, pulling it out. My fingers tap against the screen as I look for the name of probably my favorite person in the world. Clicking on the name, I hold the cold, black piece of glass that I call my phone up to my ear. A few rings go by before the all too familiar voice fills my eyes.

        "Hey, baby."

         "Hi, mama. I have a problem and I need your advice." I speak.

+

        So, that's how I ended up here, my foot propped up as I lean against my truck, waiting for the girl I have hurt way too much too get out of school.

        My conversation with my mother went pretty well, although that was after she threatened to have Jack come kick my ass for hurting her little girl. Of course I didn't tell her the real reason why I needed her help  to get Blake to forgive me.  My mum and Blake have always been super close, so when me and Blake started to drift apart, my mother took it rather hard. Too say that she was upset when I told her what I had said to Blake, well that's a major understatement. Eventually she knocked some sense into me, and told me I should just start by telling her that I'm sorry, and that I actually need to prove it, because after all, actions speak louder than words.

        My eyes scan the crowd of people leaving the school, and a sigh leaves my lips as they fall on Blake. I guess it's now or never.

        Before I realize what's happening, my feet are already making their way over to the short girl. She's smiling as she says what I assume is a goodbye to her friends, but the smile is short lived, for when she looks up and sees me, noting but a blank stare takes over her face. Her small figure crosses her arms, as she takes a few steps forward, stoping in front of me.

        "What are you doing here?"

        "Can you get in my truck, we really need to talk," My words come out soft, trying my best to be friendly towards the girl that I have said just about every insult you can imagine too. "Please."

        Her brows furrow as she looks at me, and I can tell that she's debating whether or not to follow me. "Why would I get in your truck with you, after what you said to me?" Her words are short, and harsh. "You haven't even told me you're fucking sorry."

         Just shut up and get in my truck.

        I don't say what I want to, knowing that that won't help me in the slightest. "Blake, please, that's why I'm here." I take my lip between my teeth, chewing on the spot where my lip ring used to be. "I want to apologize, you know, try and make it up to you. You know we can't keep this up, we're only hurting the people we love."

        Her face softens, and her shoulders relax a little bit, the realization dawning on her.

        Good, she knows I'm right.

        "Fine, but you get 20 minutes." Her arms unfold, and she's already making her way over to my truck.

         I sigh, sending a silent thank you to my mother. I turn around, ready to follow her when her movements come to a halt.

        "Luke," She turns around, her eyes meeting mine. "I don't know why you're doing this, because you've never cared about how you treating me has effected anyone else before, but I swear, if you have some ulterior motive, I will find out, and i'll make sure you'll lose Calum for good."

        Well fuck.

+

        "Why are we here?" The dark-haired girl questions, turning to look at me as I pull up to a place that at one point used to mean so much to us.

        I don't really know why I chose to come here, maybe because I can bring back some of her old feelings towards me. The feelings where she didn't hate me, and looked up to me. The feelings she had when she saw me as her best friend, and not the guy she hates.

        "I thought it would be sentimental, you know, prove to you that I'm really serious about wanting to try and fix this fucked up friendship we have."

        Her eyes narrow, and I bet that she's holding back a lot of choice words towards me. "I wouldn't use the word friendship, because everyone knows that's the last things that we have, Luke."

        "Can you just come on? I want to show you something." I turn my key, pulling it from the trucks ignition. I open the door, and step out, every fiber in my body on fire, scared to see how all this unfolds.

        I don't wait for her as I walk towards the old pond, knowing that's she following me due to the sound of the passenger side door slamming shut. I come to a stop right at the edge of the pond, my knees bending as I take a seat in the grass. A few seconds later, the space beside me is taken. My head turns, looking at Blake.

        Her eyes are closed as her fingers lace through the grass. I can't help but notice the faint smile on her face, her mind probably filled with the forgotten memories from years ago. Memories that no longer mean anything to either of us.

        "Blake," I speak softly, pulling her from her thoughts. "I'm sorry."

        "I-"

        I don't let her finish, for I'm too worried that she's going to snap at me or something, resulting in me throwing another crude comment her way, and fucking all of this up.

        "Just please let me speak, before I lose my train of thought."

          She nods, turning her body slightly to look at me, her lips sealed.

         "I'm sorry, Blake," I begin. "For everything I have ever done, or said to you that hurt you." I can't look her in her eyes, because my words mean absolutely nothing, and I don't want her to notice that Im basically lying through my teeth. "I don't know what happened to us," Lies "And I don't know how we ended up like this, but I'm sorry."

        My eyes find hers, and for some reason, my heart breaks a little at the sight of this little girl who used to be my world, lip caught in her teeth, and tears falling from her eyes.

        "God, I am so fucking sorry for what I said to you the other night. I was drunk, and way out of line." I take
her hand in mine, and I do nothing but grip harder as I feel her small had shaking, trying my hardest to sound one hundred percent sincere. "What I'm trying to get at is," I sigh, my tongue darting out to dampen my dry lips. "Can you ever forgive me, Blake?"

         She stays silent as she looks at me, and I can't tell what's going on through her head, but my next words are what gets her to speak, and her response is what gives me hope that maybe I actually can pull this off.

         "Please, princess." I beg.

        "Fuck, Luke. I sure have missed you."

        It was that moment, that I knew I was in for one hell of a ride, for when she, and Calum, find out about truth behind me trying to patch things up with her, it would all just go downhill.

A/N

Wash. your. hands. thank. you. 😊