feelings

entry 13

Im losing again

I mean wtf? I dont know
I dont know why people treat me like this.
I dont get it
I didnt do wrong
I was right beside him all the time i was his friend. I was there when he needed me the most. I was there when his stupid crush doesnt like him back. I was there when he needed someone to listen to. I was there when he needs to laugh.
I was always there when someone needs me.
But look at me now. I need someone.
Someone who will actually cared for me. Guess im pathetic? Pathetic to find someone who can be real to me. I just want to feel important. Just for once i want to feel like there is actually someone who will get scared if im gone.
But nah. How pathetic of me to really think that someone will actually do that for me. I need support. I need help. But then i cant find anyone to actually help me. Thats why its getting worst. Because its just me against me.
Its just me who keep on fighting.
Its just me who woke up every morning to survive depression.
Its just me who will fake a smile just to make other people feel better.
Its just me and my pools of tears who gave me company everynight.