the good side | t.chalamet ; book 2

37

the silence was killing them both. Timmy knew that tally was going to spring this topic onto him at some point, but apart of him also believed that she wouldn't and things would just carry on how they were before. but timothee wasn't dumb, he was an adult and knew he had to have this conversation.

"whats going on?" she sighed, "whats happening? what are we? what are you doing?"

she didn't mean to bombard him with a dozen questions all at once, she just had so many questions that she needed answers to.

he sat there for a minute in silence before plucking up the courage and speaking. he took a deep breath, "you're my everything, tally. and im not just saying this, I mean it. truly. I can't lie when I've said that the last few months have been quite hard for me, since I got to London I feel like I lost part of me and I didnt really know what to do at the start. so having you there was like having a part of home with me. I know I probably abused my privileges and crossed boundaries more than once, but I don't want to be away from you, Natalia. you're literally my comfort zone and I don't know what I'd do without you."

she let timothees soft words sync in for a hot second, she assumed he was hurting, but she didn't realise he was hurting this much.

"I must admit, you have crossed boundaries quite a bit, you have been taking the piss if I'm completely honest with you. but I let you, I don't like being away from you, T. and it hurts me that you're obviously hurting and you hadn't mentioned anything before hand. you can trust me, you know that right?"

"of course I know that, I trust you more than anyone." he admitted.

she didn't know why she felt relived at his reply, "I think you need to go home, Tim." she spoke truthfully. her words were soft, he almost didn't hear her.

"you are my home."

and just like that, her heart melt and broke all at the same time. the four words he spoke was enough for her to just melt into his body right there and then, but the look on his face and the crack in his voice made her heart collapse in her body.

she shook her head, feeling the tears in her eyes and the familiar feeling in her gut, "no Timmy, proper home. go see your friends, your family. you need them, you need time."

"but I don't want to go back, not without you."

she rubbed her hands over her face trying to stop herself from letting the tears become visible, "you can't stay living on my sofa or the end of my bed forever, Tim. you havent seen your family in months, you need to go back to New York and relax, take time out for yourself and spend time with your mum and dad and sister. heck, armies been messaging me asking if you're still alive, Tim! you're completely disconnected."

as she looked across from her, she saw the tears streaming down his pale cheeks hopelessly, she didn't know what to do.

"I love you, Natalia." he spoke shakily, "I don't want to loose you again, it can't happen-- it can't. I don't want to go anywhere without you."

"who said I was going anywhere, Tim? I'll always either be here or in New York." she said with a sad smile, "but right now, I need to be here and you need to be there, okay?"

"but I can't just leave you, you can't just get rid of me -- I love you, and I don't want anyone other than you, Natalia please." he whimpered vulnerably.

she frowned, "what are you getting so worked up over? neither of us are dying, this isn't goodbye forever. whats wrong?"

"because, I don't deserve you an-and, you'll move on and find someone better than me. I can't watch you with someone else, I want to be the one that makes you happy, the only one."

again, she was absolutely confused as to well on earth this had come from. she didn't think she had given him any reason to think this at all, she hadn't seen anyone when they were broken up, she just stayed focused on her work mostly. "Tim, baby. I don't know where this came from, but don't ever put yourself down like that. you're so wonderful and I love you very much. It hurts me so much seeing you like this, I really do. and you know I'm right when I say you need to go home,"

he chuckled, wiping his nose, "you're always right."

she giggled sadly, "you know me, Natalia, always right, Brooks."

he smiled her her sadly, "I love you."

"I love you very much. and I always will."

xxxx

Timmy
i just got home, it feels weird

tally
<3 how are your parents?

Timmy
they're good, missed me.
they miss you as well

tally
omg I miss them too ;(
but ill see you all soon.
send them my love

Timmy
I love you

tally
I love you.
don't be a stranger.

xxxx

"she's been listening to Homesick on repeat for about four hours," gabby sighed rubbing her head.

"they are a pair of absolute messes. I love them but fuck me, they need to sort it out." Lilian said with a shake of her head.

"she texted me saying that he landed safely and that he said his parents miss her, I just hope she doesn't fall back into her unhealthy state again, she needs to take care of herself." Natalia's older sister spoke sadly.

Lilian walked over to the girl and rested her head on top of her shoulder, "she'll be back in New York before you know it. besides, we'll see her when we go back for Christmas so we can have a fat catch up, okay?" she spoke softly.

Lilian hated seeing gabby sad, and gabby hated knowing her sister, Natalia, was sad. the thing about Timothee and Natalia was that they were so perfect for each other, sometimes they just didn't realise it, and even though they weren't on bad terms, their love for each other was so strong that it was over powering them. they needed to find the balance in their lives, things in the last year have changed dramatically. when they got together for the first time, things were much more simpler. but now both of them are growing and becoming increasingly bigger, that they didn't know how to adapt to the change. the nostalgia from their first breakup was no stranger to them right now, after all of this progression, they both felt like they were just going backwards again.