I'm Looking Through You // Mclennon

resentment

My breathing quite nearly stopped. Who the fuck is at our door at this hour? Did a fan from earlier sneak around in hopes of finding us? The only way I'll find that out, I guess, is if I go and check. John's eyes bursted open the second he heard the knock, as well, I could almost feel his heart pouding against his chest.

"I'll go check that, John." I announced, tossing the sheets off of my body. John quickly blocked my path with his arm and pulled me back into bed.

"Oh, I'm sure it ain't anythin', Paul, quit worrying so much." John attempted to reassure me, only to be interrupted by another loud knock.

I stared down at John and raised a brow. John sighed deeply and got up, himself, and went heading for the front door.
I'm sure I'm only overreacting, but what if I'm not? The city can be a rather dangerous place to reside in; why do you think I chose to live where I do? It's quite the contrast.

John stepped towards the front door cautiously, making sure not to make too many noises on the way. I followed close behind the man and watched him peer through the peep-hole. He reeled back and wiped a thin layer of sweat off of his forehead. He then turned to me and began to talk in a shakey voice.

"Yoko's back." He stuttered out quietly to me.

My eyes widened at this statement immediately. I already felt the tears welling up into my eyes and my hands began to shake, "...What?"

"Sh!" John snapped at me, "Jus... go hide!"

His words right then made me feel a bit offended. John really just wants me to go off somewhere? Bloody disappear? Vanish into thin air? Why can't he be honest and tell her what's been going on this whole entire week? How hard is that, really?
Is this any easier?

Against all odds... I listened to him, though, and bolted down the hallway before John opened the front door. As I heard it open with a creak, I began to bite the nails off of my fingertips.

Yoko entered the apartment and I immediately heard her plant a kiss on my boy's cheek. The sound of her voice made the blood in my veins boil.
Perhaps I'm being a little dramatic, though. However, Yoko and I never got along well. Never since the day I first laid my eyes on her. I could never really determine the reason at why, it was always just something so inherent. Like we were just always competing for John's undivided attention.

"Oh, and John, when I found out that I'd be comin' back early, I was just filled with absolute joy! I missed you more than anything else on this Earth, dearie." I heard her go on and on about how much she loved her precious Johnny.

"...So, what've you been up to since I've been gone, hm?" She asked John, whose face was only blank. He hadn't really said much to her yet. "I've been rather curious, my flower..."

John bit his lip and it was clear he was worried, "Nothin' really. Jus waitin' around... Waitin' for ye to... get back." He kissed her hand after speaking.

Hearing and watching this all happen made me feel like I could just explode.

"Anyway, I'm completely beat after the trip I've had. ...How about going to bed?" She said with a knowing look in her eye. "After I get Sean to sleep, and all..?"

John didn't seem like he was declining this offer. He just stood still and couldn't reply. She was a tad confused at this, but still, her fingers stroked up his chest and to his neck.

I just couldn't hold back anylonger.

And I wanted to hold back, I swear I did, but instead... I marched angrily down the hallway with heavy footsteps before making eyecontact with the two idiots stood by the door. My teeth were grinding with anger and without my control, while John looked even more anxious.

       I looked over at Yoko and her skin turned as pale as a ghost.

I had the inclination to hold back ofcourse, but after everything John and I have been through, it was pretty impossible. I felt like a tea kettle that was bound to boiling over.

Taking in a sharp breath, I raised my finger as if I was going to say something, but I couldn't find the words. My head was only blinded with rage. I glared at Yoko and she only stared back at me with a bewildered expression.

"When did you get here?" She asked me.

I squinted my eyes and stared down at the floor, "Bout a week ago... And you?" I shot back snarkily.

John laughed a little at my reply, but this was, in the end, no laughing matter.

"When're you leaving, then?" She asked me, "John and I are very busy people and we don't need anyone buttin' into our lives, Paul."

Yoko's hand was gripping tightly at John's. She seemed to have such control over him that if she snapped her fingers, John would be at her feet and willing to anything she wanted. It's been like that since they first started their little relationship. She would always tell John what to do and when to do it. It's so blatant to me now after this visit. It's so clear to me now after seeing how much John has changed over the last few years...

"Get outta here, Paul, it's late. John doesn't need you and obviously I don't, either." She spat out. Her words hit me like daggers.

My face was red with anger. I shot my gaze up at John who was still stood next to his wife. He didn't say a word to defend me whatsoever.

"Well..?" I finally asked John firmly.

He frowned a bit, "I think... you should leave, McCartney."

Ouch.

"John..?" I asked once more, quietly this time. Though, he didn't say a word back.

Finally, after staring at the man like he had three heads, I grabbed my coat that was hanging by the door and tossed it over my shoulder.

"Fine. Then I'm off." I replied bitterly before shoving passed them.

The door slammed behind me and the sound echoed throughout the apartment building. I couldn't care less if someone woke up due to the loud noise, I am right pissed.

The lights were off for the most part due to it being late as all Hell. I made my way into the lift and hit the button to go down. As I sank through each level, my heart fell with it.

How could John just throw me out like yesterday's paper... after everything that's happened this week? We made plans. We were... intimate. We talked about... a lot... What... the fuck?!

It's just like back in 1970. John just tossing me away for Yoko all over again! Exactly like he did then! The sequel not feeling much better.

Finally I made it outside and the sun was slightly showing above the horizon. Jesus, what time is it? Where can I go at this point?

I didn't bother hailing a damn taxi. Instead, I walked to the hotel I was planning to stay at in the first place, which by the way, I should have done in the first place, instead of wasting my breath with someone so thick in the head.

Anyroad...

I opened the revolving door and began to talk with the lady at the desk, wondering if I could book a room on kind of short notice. Thankfully, there was a few more available, so I didn't have much of an issue.

Walking into my room, I realized I had left all my shit at John's place. I had to laugh a little bit at the incident, but I knew I wasn't going back there anytime soon.
Guess I can kiss those clothes goodbye.
And John, as well.