So We Had an Affair: A Confessional

The Time Has Come

"Okay, let's run it again!" Candace clapped her hands. Everyone groaned.

"Candace, I'm all for being prepared but this is downright torture!" Kendall complained.

"Yeah, I didn't know I'd ever be timed on how quickly I can pick up a bag." Lin complained as well.

"I am here to support, why am I running through this too?" Jazzy asked slumped over in her chair.

"I'm just backup. Do I really need this much practice? Also, I feel like we should be going slower on the stairs. Also, also, why are we even running on the stairs?" Anthony asked with a hand in the air.

"Look, Baby Philodosia will be saying '(enter me)' soon. We need to be ready. If we forget the bag, Y/N and Baby P will not have any change of clothes. Support, you need to know the plan in case we lose Mr. Backup over here. Mr. Backup, what if there's a fire or the elevator is down? Should we just have the baby here?" Candace answered. No one said anything. "Okay, good talk. Time to practice on the fire escape!" Everyone collectively groaned again.

"I never did any of this." Vanessa mumbled to me. I stifled a laugh. Candace clapped her hands again and we all got up. We ran the drills over and over again. Candace ended the labor drills with an explanation for each possibility. Francisco began crying from his room.

"The boy wonder calls me but there are refreshments in the dining area." Vanessa excused herself to go to Francisco. Candace finished soon after and everyone went to the dining area. Anthony pulled me aside.

"Hey..." I said. For some reason things were still a bit awkward with Anthony.

"Hey..." Anthony said then struggled to speak.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah... I just... I just want you to know that I still think about what this would've been like..."

"...if you were the father?" I completed his thought. Anthony nodded almost ashamed. "Is everything okay between you and Jazzy?"

"What? Yes! No, no, Jazzy is great! I just sometimes wonder what it would've been like for us. You know I wanted a little girl..."

"Yeah..." I nodded.

"You seem happier now though so at least I know Lin is treating you right." He weakly chuckled. I smiled. We both silently reflected what it would have been like if he had ended up the father. We hugged each other for a minute too long before someone clearing their throat made us separate. It was Lin. I tried not to roll my eyes.

"Get some food. You earned it. Candace was running us hard." I chuckled. Anthony nodded and went to the dining area.

"Do you wish he was the father?" Lin asked.

"Can we save this conversation for another night..." I sighed.

"Y/N..." Lin's eyes begged for answers. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Lin, don't ask questions you don't want the answer to."

"I'm asking for the answer."

"I don't know I guess no... Not exactly... Sometimes..." I steal a glance at Lin. He looks visibly sick. I checked to make sure everyone was still in the dining room then grabbed Lin and took him to my room.

"So, you do?" Lin asked.

"Lin, you know with everything that we've had to do to keep this a secret... it's been stressful. I just... think about how if Anthony had been the father, we wouldn't have 90% of these problems."

"We wouldn't have problems because we wouldn't be talking..."

"What?"

"Before you found out you were pregnant, you had just ended our communication indefinitely..."