Deeply In Secret (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Eight

I felt so cold, I saw all my dreams die.. And thinking that, this house no longer will feels like home ; when my dad told that I'm leaving in 2 days without seeing my own opinions i felt that i couldn't breathe, cause I can't figure it out why... Maybe because my dad is so sticking to religion, cause in Islam the homosexuality is not allowed “Haram”.. Duh, he just caused my heart to bleed..

Eyes filled with tears i called x, I told him that I love him and that we should met tomorrow. Then i turned off my phone and I started writing a letter, which I'm planned that i'll sent it the night I'm leaving :“ I never thought i'd be writing you this letter, the time i kissed you I thought that our love would stand the rest of time and nothing could come between us.. Unfortunately, my dad didn't accept my sexuality so I'm leaving. I'm going to Canada.. I cannot say all this to you in real life cause I'm a weak person and you know that :<l will always remember the very first time we met, the very first time my lips touched your lips, the very first time you wrapped your arms around me and rested your head on my shoulder. Your smile your way of looking at me will always be fresh in my memories. There are so many lovely memories but the fact remains the memories are not enough to bind us for rest of our lives. I still have some hope deep in my heart that someday my undying love will bring you back in my arms. There are so many unanswered questions in my mind that sometimes it forces me to approach you to get the answers and say a final goodbye to you. At the same time I want you to come to a realization where my undying love for you will make you come to me. Sooner or later.. It doesn’t matter .. I am still waiting for you… and will always will. No matter you come to me or not.. I will never have any regrets in life of loving you… of holding you in my arms of dreaming to be with you forever..till the time I am alive.. life is so meaningless boy, Goodbye, I already miss you..”.

Tomorrow, we met since the morning.. that one trip didn't was extra cause I got extreme anxiety : my anxiety felt like I physically can’t get out of bed in the morning. It’s more than simply not wanting to get up, it’s being terrified of what could happen in a single day... my anxiety had no explanations and i was worried about having a panic attack.. My anxiety was isolating myself even though I wanted to be around other people and participated in fun activities because I knew that I'm going to miss those activities...