It was diffcult to understand what happened. The social worker told me that you'd passed away But to where? I said. She said that you'd gone to a better place for you so I asked if you'd gone home with mum and dad. She took in a deep breath and blew out through her nose. she showed me the bottle of pills. She pointed to the label and asked if I knew what they were. I said they were sleeping pills and she nodded. did she take too many? I asked. She nodded her head again. So she's dead? She nodded again and then left the room so that I could have some space. And then I understood.
I thought about the time when you said you wished you could just die life was so bad. I didn't think you'd actually do it though. I knew that you'd cut your arms with knives. I'd seen the scars they'd made once when you were getting changed and I walked into your room.
I went to find the social worker to ask her why she said you'd gone to a better place and she said "Some people believe that when you die you go to a better place where God is."
" But where is god" I asked and she said that it wasn't important and she handed me a bit of paper and said
"that it was what Lily wrote for you just before you overdosed"
She also gave me some other bits of paper and said "Lily had been writing her problems down in letters to someone named Ellie. Do you know who that is? A family member, a friend?"
I told her "it's Ellie Goulding"
She asked me "was that her favorite singer?"
And I said "yes." She said I should take my time to read the letters carefully.
I read them and cried.
So that is why I'm writing this. It was mums idea. she said we should write letters saying what we wanted to say to you and bury them with you so that you could read them in heaven. I want to ask you a lot. I want to keep talking to you. But I can't
Ellie meant a lot to you. She meant something to me too. I heard her music and the words told me words of hope. I wish she could read the letters. I'm trying as hard as I can to persuade mum to send them to her somehow but she says we don't need to worry her about you. But you mean more to me. She meant so much to you. And i bet you mean a lot to her too
YOU ARE READING
Letters to Ellie - An Ellie Goulding Fanfiction
FanfictionUgh, who am I kidding, why am I even bothering to write these letters? Your never going to read them, but it seems like I know you. Like your my only friend in this cruel world. Your songs speak to me and there's so much I wish I could tell you b...
