Letters to Ellie - An Ellie Goulding Fanfiction

22nd December

22nd December

Ellie,

I cut again today. I didn't know how else to relieve the pain.

Dad has been gone for a day now.

He left after he hit me in that fight with mum, he's been gone way longer before, but mums worried incase something terrible has happened to him, the little money we have is his.

I know it's hard for her to leave him with the money situation and all, but I'm so scared for me, her and my brother.

My mum asked about the bruises on my face from yesterday.

I said they were nothing but now that's probably made her even more worried.

It was my brothers birthday today. I'd saved up as much as I could to buy him this book he'd really wanted.

It was a science book about space and stuff, he'd seen it in a Waterstones catttalogue and begged for it for ages.

It was nice to see him happy , even when I founf it hard to be.

My mum and me and him went out for fish and chips with him, but he started getting stressed when he realized his dad wasn't there for his special birthday outing.

He had a fit and smashed the tables and chairs, and the owner of the chop got really annoyed and said we had to pay for the damage even when we explained that he couldn't help it.

And then my mum hit him.

The police were called and my mum was arrested for assaulting a member of the public.

Me and my brother were questioned about what happened.

I told the truth, what else could I do?

We were then told that our 'mummy' had to go to court about this because it was 'very serious grownup matters' and that for the time being we would have to go into a foster home.

they didn't even bother to try and keep us together at Christmas.

I was driven to a place which had tried its best to look nice from the outside but was full of messed up kids on the inside.

So I'm sitting here in this room with the knife that I stole from the kitchen earlier still lying on my bed and writing this.

I'm so scared.

I'm scared that mums gonna go to prision, she can't afford a lawyer.

I'm scared that my brothers going to get on so bad at the foster home. He hates people he doesn't know.

I'm scared that even now you might not be enough to keep me going anymore.