Mr. Bieber & I

Chapter 30

Unedited

Songs for the chapter

Wrecking Ball - Miley Cyrus

Confident - Justin Bieber

Problem - Josh Levi (cover)

Hannah's POV

I still haven't listened to the CD Justin gave me. I've been staring at it since I dropped Brandon at Day Care which was 2 hours ago.

Should I play it?

Would it make me come crawling back to him?

What's on it?

All these questions were running through my head. I want to listen to it but at the same time, I don't. I do want to listen to it because his eyes when he gave it to me were pleading for me to listen to it. I don't want to listen to it because I'm scared. Yeah, I'm scared. Terrified really. I don't know what is gonna be on there.

I guess I should stop being a baby and just play it right? I mean it couldn't be that bad, right?

I put the CD in my stereo player and pressed play. I sat down on the bed while I waited for it to start playing.

"Hey Hannah. It's Justin. Ah fuck why did I say that. You already know that. Fuck I'm messing this up. Let me just start over. Okay, Hi Hannah. I wanted to make this for you because I don't think you know how much I really love you. Asking for you to marry me was the best decision of my life. You're always on my mind regardless of what I'm doing. When I'm recording I'm thinking of you, when I'm traveling I'm thinking of you, when I wake up my first thought is you, when I sleep you're the last thought on my mind.

I love you so much Hannah.

I know how much you say Ariana Grande is your favorite artist so I made this for you. I remade this song for you. That's why I left you after that wonderful night. I wanted to play this at our wedding for you. So here we are at our wedding --"

I had to stop the tape there. I can't even pay attention anymore, I'm crying too hard to say anything or do anything. I'm just sitting on my bed crying into a pillow. Yelling and punching the bed because of my stupid mistake.

Why did I have to break up with him?

Why did I have to ruin the only thing that made me happy?

I'm so stupid.

I can't listen to the rest of this, maybe tomorrow or the next the day, but not now. I get up from my bed and head down the stairs into the kitchen to make some tea. I fill up the kettle and wait for it to heat up.

Today is my day of from work-- Friday. And I spent most of it contemplating on wether or not to listen to the CD instead of getting things done.

Minutes pass by and the water was boiling so I put it on the back burner, turned the stove top off and went to the cupboard to get a mug. I set the mug on the table and went into the pantry to get a green-tea tea bag. Once I got one I poured the water into the mug and dipped the tea bag in and stirred the water.

I walked into the living, mug in hand, and sat on the couch. I grabbed the remote from the coffee table and turned on the TV. I settled on watching Boy Meets World. I'm not really paying attention to the show though so I don't know why I have it on. I just need something to distract myself for now.

By the time the episode ends its already 1 p.m. and it's time to pick up Brandon. After I turn the TV off and put my mug in the sink, I head up stairs and get into some decent clothes. I settle on just changing my sweatpants to a pair of light washed skinny jeans and leave my Rolling Stones t-shirt on. I quickly grab my phone and purse and go downstairs. I slip my Toms on and then head outside to the car.