What If

Chapter 2

Alina had never felt such agony in her entire life. It was endless and excruciating. For the past two days, she had been wallowing in self pity, and her mind kept replaying Mal and Nikolai's deaths over and over again. The way Mal fell, when she stabbed him. The way he came back to life, only to be slain by the hands of an oprichniki. The way Nikolai transformed back into his human form, and plummeted into the ocean, but didn't rise from it. Alina had cremated Mal with Zoya's help, along with one of the Inferni the other day. Nikolai's body was still missing, probably at the bottom of the Unsea.

Even though her mind kept reminding her of all these moments, even though she refused to stop and contemplate the consequences of all the actions she had taken and the result of the war, the Darkling's words made her stop and think.

"You are not the villain of my story."
It almost made her smile - in some dark and twisted way - and took her back to the time when he had told her many moons ago, "Fine. Make me your villain."

She knew that it was time that had made him cruel. She wasn't the villain of his story. It was Time.

And yet, she remembered the cruel consequences of his actions. Nikolai's broken body, and Mal's decapitated one flashed in her mind. The softness that had slowly crept in her vanished. "Get out." She growled.

The Darkling's face turned stone cold, and she knew he had shut his heart behind those Grisha steel walls once more. "Fine then. I thought an apology would be a start but clearly you keep wanting more."

Alina shook her head. "Bring them back to me. Then talk to me about forgiveness." She knew she was just blabbering, but that was what her heart wanted.

The Darkling sighed sadly, then turned around, shutting the door behind him.

And just like that, Alina was all alone, with nothing but her agonising thoughts. But this time, she didn't cry. She wouldn't cry. Not anymore.