that boy | hwang hyunjin | ✔

Chapter 25

The walk to the school's library is long and quiet, an awkward silence hanging in the air between us like a thick blanket. It's nothing new, it's actually something I'm getting more and more used to.

But something inside that awkwardness has changed. First, we didn't want to talk so being together automatically generated an atmosphere where we both didn't acknowledge each other's presence. Now, after that talk we had yesterday, it feels like we both want to say something because it feels like we have to, but none of us speaks up since we just don't know what to say.

It still confuses me. Why is the urge to talk to him so strong, all of a sudden? I usually feel the urge to stay as far away as possible and I just don't understand where this change is coming from. That's one of the reasons why I don't speak up, I refuse to let my walls shatter because of one simple boy.

I allow myself to inspect the boy walking next to me. How his pitch black hair shines in the glow of the fluorescent lighting that illuminates the hallways, how his hands tightly hold on to the shoulder straps of his bag. His face is relaxed, his fine features forming a gentle natural smile that always seems to be present on his face.

Hyunjin seems so careless, something I can definitely learn from. Hah, I can't even remember the last time I was walking around the world without any care, without anything nagging my mind and causing that restlessness I always feel. There's always something, even when everything seems to be going well. 

"Chaelin, you're staring."

His voice brings me back to reality and I snap out of the little daze I was in. Heat rushes to my cheeks as my eyes meet with Hyunjin's and within mere seconds, I'm probably beet red. Staring is one thing, but being caught staring is probably one of the most embarrassing things that can happen. It's a first, Chaelin being caught staring at a boy.

Hyunjin, what are you doing to me?

The boy lets out a light and breathy chuckle, his eyes turning into crescents and I quickly avert my gaze, my cheeks burning up and my poor heart working overtime. I roughly shake my head, trying to clear my head from everything related to Hyunjin. His name, his face, the sound of his voice, his laughter. But it seems impossible with him walking beside me. The thoughts of him refuse to leave my mind, or so it seems.

With gritted teeth, I pick up the pace and walk ahead of the raven-haired boy. He doesn't try to catch up with me. Instead, he lets out lighthearted laughter and my stomach tingles. Suddenly, the urge to vent out a chain of incoherent words is really strong. Everything is flooding over and I want to run. But how do you run from your own feelings?

Luckily, it doesn't take long for us to reach the library. Only a few minutes later, we enter the hallway that leads to the library. It's quiet, with most of the students being inside their assigned classrooms. Only a few members of the school's staff roam the hallways. I'm thankful for that; no student has witnessed my flustered state around Hyunjin.

The room is brightly lit, with overhead lighting that shines brightly even though light enters the space through its large windows. Tables are lined up against all the walls, many computers set up on top of them. There are hardly any books left here so there aren't many shelves either. I always wonder why they still call it a library since it basically changed into a cybercafé, minus the coffee and snacks. I guess it's some kind of sentiment, like a reference to the old times when books dominated this place. 

Hyunjin greets the librarian and walks over to the large tables in the center of the space, meant for students to sit and study in an old-school way; with textbooks. He carefully places his bag on the table before he grabs a chair and sits down. I'm already on my way to sit opposite of hem but the boy shakes his head.

"I don't think sitting across of me would work," he carefully says, a twinkle still present in his dark eyes. "I'm not that good in upside-down math."

A small smile plays on his full lips and I fight the urge to laugh along. Instead, I purse my lips and walk around the table to sit next to him. The boy next to me seems unbothered by the fact I just ignored his joke. In fact, I like his sense of humor. His jokes are funny and I would've laughed along if everything wasn't that complicated. I don't want to like anything about him, not even his sense of humor. So I just ignore it, pretending not to like it.

We both take out our textbooks and pencil cases in silence, placing it on the light wooden table and preparing for this our of tutoring and being tutored. I don' like myself for this, but I can't help but cast sideways glances to Hyunjin every now and then. In moments like this, I always wonder what he's thinking or feeling.

Does he feel the same awkwardness I'm experiencing whenever I'm around him? Does he feel tensed around me, because of how I treated him before yesterday? It's hard to say. He always seems so relaxed and unbothered but that might just be because I read him wrong.

And maybe more importantly, what does he think of me? What's his reason for always approaching me even though I acted as I did. I've been a bitch to him ever since he got here and yet he kept treating me nicely most of the times. And when I apologized, he just accepted it without a second thought. As if I never did anything to hurt him.

"Yah, Chaelin," a voice sighs, and a hand waves in and out of my vision. "You're spacing out again."

I jolt up from my thoughts and look at Hyunjin with wide eyes. It takes a few seconds before I recollect myself again and relax, for as far that's possible in a situation like this. Then I quickly avert my gaze, not able to look into his searching brown eyes any longer. Instead, I glance at the textbook in front of me and I'm greeted by a bunch of math problems I don't understand a single thing of.

"So what exactly is the problem?" Hyunjin asks, suddenly becoming serious. The playful twinkle in his eyes is gone as he leans forward and eyes my textbook. "Which part is troubling you?"

"Everything," I deadpan. I shove my notebook over to him. It's full of red ink, answers crossed out and corrected. "I don't understand anything of it."

Hyunjin eyes the pages of my notebook, his eyes lingering over all the red scribbles. His brows knit together into a frown, something that's rare coming from him. Then he heaves out a heavy sigh.

"This is gonna be a rough hour," he mutters.

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