that boy | hwang hyunjin | ✔

Chapter 49

Hehe, here is the real chapter 49
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A long silence drags between us, only the soft wooshing of the wind over the flat surface of the rooftop adding some sound to our current setting. Hyunjin is just staring at me, his brown eyes darting between mine. I'm suddenly all too aware of his hands in mine and the close proximity between us.

"You... think you're in love with me?" he repeats after a while. His voice is so frail like he's scared to be hurt again. I can see it in his eyes, observing me warily, searching for a hint telling him that this is just a mere joke.

"N-No, I'm actually sure I am," I quickly correct myself, surprised that my voice hasn't left me yet. "It's just, I am in love with you sounded so awkward, I figured." I breathe out an embarrassed chuckle and I mentally scold myself as the boy gives me a puzzled look.

This isn't exactly going as I planned.

"Chaelin, I-" Hyunjin starts, but the anxiety just decided to kick in and I start to panic just a little, but enough to let go of his hands and try to stumble back a few steps.

But the boy opposite wouldn't let me. He easily catches my wrist before I have the chance to flee and then it's him who's holding my hands, successfully keeping me in place. Now it's my turn to stare at him in awe as his brown eyes seek mine, a soft and reassuring hue within them.

"I'm messing up again," I whisper.

"Relax, Chaelin," Hyunjin softly says, his voice ever so gentle. "Don't force yourself to say things you aren't ready for."

My eyes momentarily dart to a lonely blackbird sitting on the rooftop fence, as if I'm hoping to find the missing courage there. But then a gust of wind blows over the roof, scaring the little guy and causing it to flee.

"I am ready to tell you this," I firmly state, my eyes finding his again. "I already did, huh? I like you a lot, I fell for you."

It is as if my words just reached him for the first time. His eyes widen and he remains speechless. But his lack of words only encourages me to continue.

"I think it already started a long time ago," I begin, more like thinking out loud rather than explaining him. "You've always been dangerous for my heart, maybe even from day one."

I somewhat enjoy the crimson red cheeks of the raven-haired boy and I continue with a soft chuckle, my hands still in his all the while.

"First, I didn't even know. But then you got closer and I started to notice strange things. I denied it at first but it soon came to a point where it can't be denied. Everything went okay for a while. I enjoyed our friendship and spending time with you was great. But those feelings only grew and at some point, I got scared and pushed you away again."

The blackbird has returned. It's proudly sitting on its previous spot again as if the wind didn't scare him away just a moment ago. I know it doesn't make any sense, but that little bird is a welcome excuse to avert my gaze from Hyunjin every now and then before things get too intense.

"Look Hyunjin," I say, clearing my throat to get rid of the lump that settled there. "I know I have my problems but I really care about you. And you know-" I nervously chew my lower lip, forcing myself too look at him.

"I want to become a better person for you. Maybe it's already too late and you... you-"

"Chaelin," Hyunjin calls out, gently squeezing my hands. "Can I please say something as well?"

I immediately shut up and give a meek nod. I was this close to making a complete fool of myself again.

"I like you too."