Just 5 letters----Jungkook ff✔

Sequel-New Year's Present

<Jungkook's pov>

It has been a year since Jia's death. Her death really affected me. Kowing the reason of her death haunts me and I'm pretty sure it will kill me one day.

I still have her letters. I read them everyday hoping that they were fake and it was all just a stupid prank on me and that Jia was still alive. But who am I kidding? I know, everyone knows, that she's dead. That this is not a prank. That this is reality and we have to face it.

Reality is bitch. I don't know why it exits. I guess it exits to make us realize the stupid things we are doing. I hate reality. I hate myself. Just like I wish that reality didn't exits, I wish that I didn't exist in the first place.

If I had never existed, Jia would have been alive and hopefully making friends and being all happy. I don't think I deserve to live after what I did to her. I am the reason she died. I basically killed her, right? I am the worse person ever. I don't know why she even loved me. I don't deserve her love. I don't deserve her. I don't deserve all the happiness in the world when it should have been hers from the beginning. But, my being the cruel me, I took it away from her. I took her everything and kept it to myself. I hate myself. I should just die. That's what I deserve.

I've set my mind. I am going to die too. I should, right?

I am currently sitting at the rooftop of the school and looking down at the busy street of Seoul. It's filled with people. I can't do it here and not now because there are too many people here to notice. If I do it now, front of all these people, I will be noticed and be brought to the hospital and might be saved. But, I don't want to be saved. I just wanna die. God, please take my soul away. Please, somehow kill me, so, I can meet my Jia and ask her for forgiveness.

Please, god. Please.

<A/n pov>

Jungkook sat there on the rooftop and kept looking at the sky and asking for something.

He had fallen into depression ever since Jia's death. Now, all he thought of was just killing himself and just that. He had no other thought. Just that one.

It was a cold December night. Cold air kept swaying towards him but it did not bother him, not even a bit. It was cold and was getting colder by the second.

No human being could be able to survive this cold without a jacket on but, it was the opposite for Jungkook. He came out tonight on purpose and without a jacket. He was hoping that he would get really cold and hopefully die.

His hyungs kept calling him but he did not answer any one of them. Not even Taehyung, his best friend. He had been like that ever since Jia's death. He had been different since her death. Very different, a little too different.

Bad thoughts kept circling around his head and kept making him think the same thing over and over again. It was hard to tell whether he still had his sanity or not.

He had stopped going to school and always stayed in his room where no one was allowed or able to get in despite the effort they used.

Today, however, he decided to come out when he knew that his parents would be asleep. He had brought his phone, a bottle of coke, and Jia's letters, which he was clutching on even now.