{COMPLETED} A Matter of Choice

Chapter Eleven

If you wait until you are ready, it is almost certainly too late.
-Seth Godin

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Yura POV

I saw the two of them together. Sometimes I wonder what I am doing. I wanted to stop, but that would make me seem weak. I have a reputation to uphold, maybe not a good reputation at what others see, but it's the only thing I have.

I can see how much Changsub wanted to run to her. It makes me feel so envious, how can they be that in love to each other? All men are the same.

Love? What is that?

I thought I knew what that is, I've been in love with Hyunsung for as long as I can remember. I thought he was the one, but all I get are bruises and abuse. Men are all the same.

I wasn't always like this. A bitch.

I was once just a girl, full of dreams and hopes, believing in fairy tales, in happy ever after. I always dream of a man coming my way, like a knight in shinning armour.

My life wasn't perfect but it was okay, my parents are okay, normal I would say. I get what I want, I do what I want.

I met Hyunsung at a bar. Moondance.

He was shinning, I fell for him the moment he smiled at me. He was so dreamy and handsome that I thought I found my knight in shinning armour.

Our relationship was okay at first, he was so pushy and controlling, it was no surprised that I gave everything to him.

He loves me, I know, I can feel it. But his love is not the kind of love you would want. He would get jealous at every guy, he would slap me if he saw someone looking at me. He would sometimes hit me if he's in the mood.

There were times I thought to run away from him, but I am stupid. I stayed, I love him. I was blinded.

We broke up when he found someone else. I was hurt, I hated him. I gave him everything, I endured so much because of him, but he left me in a ditch.

Despite our breakup he would sometimes drop by to my house, I am weak to his touch, I would end up in bed with him.

That's how I became like this, a bitch who hates anyone, because I know all men are the same, they would just use me.

I started dating a lot of men to show him, that I am over him. He doesn't believe it at first until Changsub came.

I thought Changsub was different, I was happy with him for a while, until I realized he's just using me too. He's using me as a shield to his cowardice to admit his feelings to his bestfriend.

I couldn't let Changsub go because that means Hyunsung would come back, he would drag me back to that dark place I've been trying to escape. As much as I want to let Changsub and Chorong be happy, I can't. Also, it's Changsub's punishment for using me.

"I'm not sure, I'll see what I can do." Changsub said to someone he's talking on the phone.

"Who is it?" I asked curiously.