Shattering the Alpha (Book #1)

Silver

*NOT EDITED*

If there is anything he should know about me by now, it is that I don't follow orders very well. So, I sat up a little straighter in bed and turned towards Axel. I wasn't about to let this go. I removed my hand from his sides and grabbed the collar of his T-shirt and yanked it down. I drew in a breath involuntarily at what I saw. Around his neck was a leather necklace with a single pendant in the center. And even though it was a pretty pendant, the area around the pendant was red and was beginning to form blisters.

"Is that silver?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, don't touch it Calista," he warned. So that is how he was able to keep his wolf at bay. The guilt consumed me. How can I be so selfish and think that this heat is only affecting me? Sure, I was in a lot of pain. But, to alleviate my pain, he has to take on a huge amount.

"Take it off! It is burning your skin! You are probably going to have the nastiest scarring after this." I tried finding the clasp around his neck to remove it. But, in a split second, my hands were pinned above my head and Axel's body was on top of mine, straddling me.

"No. I'm fine. The only way that you won't feel as much pain from your heat is if I do this. It kills me to know that you are going through this much pain because of something that I did," he confessed. I smiled knowing that he was telling me that he cared about me. However, he quickly masked it when he added, "I mean, as Alpha it is my job to protect anyone in my pack. And you are here and going through pain. And I should help out if I can." Sure, I thought, believing my theory more. But where was that logic the first time I went through heat? Maybe he didn't think I was part of the pack before, but he changed his mind now. I wasn't sure. The back and forth between me and him was exhausting. But at least the progress we are making is evident. Even thought it's 1 mm at a time. 

"You think I am a part of your pack?" I asked, slightly teasing him and catching him off-guard.

"Not until you pass the Trials," he covered up as he plopped his body back on the other side of the bed and freed my wrists from his grasp. In that moment, I remembered that I was actually mad at him, and the only reason for being near him is so that I don't feel bone-crushing, excruciating pain. So, I released a breath and stayed quiet. I think he was expecting me to say something in return, because he kept fidgeting around.

"I didn't lie to you," he said. I raised an eyebrow at him, signaling that I was unconvinced, which prompted him to continue, "It is Blood Venom tradition that the Trials are done, the girl passes, and then becomes Luna. To celebrate that she passed, a Lunar Ceremony is held, and she shares a blood bond with the Alpha at the time in front of everybody in the pack, then they mate. Or the Alpha can mate before then and give up the alpha position, forgoing the trials. Giving up my Alpha position was not an option, so it had to be that we wait until after the Trials. I wasn't lying. I may have bent the truth a little bit, though. My parents broke those rules, and it didn't end well."

"What do you mean?" I asked fearing that what he was going to say was going to make us fight again.

"Well, I insinuated that mating and marking were supposed to happen after the alpha's mate passes the Lunar Trials. But, actually only the mating happens after the Trials, the marking happens before," he said, looking at me.

"I'm confused," I honestly said, although I had an idea of what he was saying, and I was wishing it weren't true.

"The reason that not a lot of our previous Lunas when into heat, unlike you, was probably because they were already marked. When an Alpha who already has a wolf, marks his mate, who doesn't have her wolf yet, she shifts for the first time. This establishes a connection between the two wolves, which buys them some time before she goes into heat. And because she has her wolf now, she has heightened senses and a stronger body to help her pass the Trials. Once she passes them, they mate before she goes into heat, and all is well," he said, glancing at me with a guilty look on his face. 

I can't believe this! There was an alternative to me going through heat all along. What the hell?

"Then why didn't you mark me?" I asked my tone rising.

"I wasn't ready to mark you."

"Excuse me! What kind of a freaking answer is that? Do you have any idea what I went through the first time? You are a twenty-five-year-old Alpha, and you aren't ready to have a mate. Grow the frick up. And for the record, you were lying to me. You said you weren't, but there was a way around waiting until the Trials and you didn't tell me about it." I tried to calm down. I didn't want to fight, and I was too tired to fight him anyway.

"I didn't know your heat would be this bad. I thought it would just be some pain and you will be able to handle it. Your father is a high-ranking warrior wolf. I was expecting that you would have some stronger genes to handle the pain. I didn't think it would come to this. I really thought you would be fine, and when I realized that you weren't going to be fine, I came here this time trying to help. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that I am sorry. At least now there aren't anymore secrets between us," he admitted. I was slightly less mad now. It also helped that his voice was so soft, probably he is starting to feel drained from the silver pressing onto his skin continuously. I was liking where this was going with Axel and I didn't want our relationship to keep being help back by things that happened in the past. Also, I would be a hypocrite if I held his lying to me against him, after all the whole reason for throwing the ball was based on lies to Axel.

"Is that what happened with your parents?" I asked, trying to regain my composure.

"Let's just say, that they broke the rules and suffered the consequences. How did you find out about that anyway?"

"It was an accident." I didn't really want to lie to him anymore, but I didn't want to expose that I found the journals. So, I smiled at him, "Can I ask you something?"

"Hmm."

"I know that I have to do the Lunar Trials, but can you explain what they entail exactly? I know that there is a battling portion, but that is all I really know. And, I am really worried that I will fail. I mean I haven't been training, because I was mad at you, and I was thinking of just giving up and not taking them seriously which I realize is such a huge mistake now. I just don't know what to do." When I was done with my little rant, I took a deep breath, realizing that I was talking so fast he probably didn't catch any of what I said.

"Relax, Calista. The battling portion is consistent across all Trials, but the second test changes each generation for each Luna. The council decides on what it will be. On the day of the Trials, you will have the test read to you, and you will agree to take on the challenge. I'm sure you will be fine. I mean 95% of Lunas passed them. So, you shouldn't worry too much about it."

"What about that 5%."

"In that case, the Alpha gave up his position and stayed with his mate and another person who shares the Alpha bloodline took on the Alpha role, and new Trials were done to induct the Luna, or the current Alpha chose another woman who passed the Trials to be his Luna," he answered with a serious expression on his face.

I was extremely worried now, and I think he could sense that. I wanted to be a strong Luna for him, but how could I do that when I doubt myself every, single day. I was confused, and I had so many questions to ask him. The most important one being whether he was still adamant on rejecting me if I don't pass the Trials. But, I refrained myself from asking him the most burning question on my mind.

Placing my head on his chest, I closed my eyes and attempted to sleep, knowing that he would probably not be with me every second of every day of my heat, and I would need to rest now.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. I really appreciate it.