Dream On Fire

(37) We dont know each other that well... do we?

Should I start with personal things or just simple stuff most people know about me?

Should I make it like an answer questions thing or just like if I was having a normal conversation with you?

I guess I'll start with basics:
Hello, my name... you already know it... I am a year younger than you and I have been in lo- have had a crush on you for three and a half years. I think I honestly prefer cats over dogs (slightly) but I also love dogs. I have two dogs and a cat. I used to have two grandma's and a grandpa but recently my grandma from my fathers side passed away... was that too personal? I mean it's been over two years so... I'm okay.

Part of my family is from the southern part of where I live so whenever I visit them and come back to where I live, where you live too, i sometimes end up picking up theirs accent... slightly...

I have two older brothers but like... OLDER brothers... sorry for calling them old but what can I say!

My favorite color is... to be honest I like many colors... I like colors that are not strong such as pastels but I also have a preference for blue's and light green tones. Three "colors" I really like are black, white and grey... but this usually in clothes since those colors combine with everything. The last color I love (specially for pictures and sometimes clothes) is honey brown or chestnut... however you call it.

I like to sing so I started singing classes already for about a year. To be honest if you were to ask me if I could prove if I can sing I wouldn't do it... at all since I am not a very confident person and will usually shake when I'm too nervous...

Oh! Did I forget to mention I get nervous easily? When presenting I seem confident... people usually tell me that I'm good when doing presentations and at meeting people... at making new friends... at making things less awkward but honestly... if you pay close attention to what my own body reacts to in this moments then you'll know... IM FREAKING OUT!

My hands start to shake so that is the main reason I wear hoodies most of the times. I tend to bite my lip from the inside and not the so "sexy" lip bite that is portrayed in every movie or even music video or picture... I literally start biting my lip from the inside to the point where I look like if I was making and uncomfortable or angry expression with my face.
Even my own family ask me if I'm okay cause I also tend to space out doing this same thing and look like if I was bothered by something or... I don't know...?
Usually when I do this I tend to do it keeping in mind that if I keep biting one certain spot then I'll hurt myself so I tend to change spots... obviously this making me look like an angry gorila or something but I have to admit, sometimes I am so nervous I don't even think of this and end up slightly bleeding without noticing... it's honestly a habit I'm working in changing or even stopping.

Another thing I tend to do when I'm nervous or... basically most of the times is blush... I usually blush like a tomato and not so much like those cute flushing cartoons or movies out there... I LITERALLY look like a tomato a really red tomato...

In a way blushing so hard helped me hide the fact that I like you but in a way it is worse since I turns to blush at almost everything making people thing I like them or something... it's sometimes tiring.

Something not many people know unless they remember how I looked when I was young... I think that by the age we met... is that I have freckles. Right now I think that the most visible thing are the acne marks and spots I currently have but under that I have freckles.

Another thing (from my face) that people never tend to notice is the almost faint dimples I have at the corners of my lips... I think people don't notice this because first of all: they are too small and faint and second of all: they only show when I slightly smile and not widely smile... usually (again) it shows when I blush.

I honestly not know what else to tell you...

I would love to learn how to play the guitar or the piano... I think the sports I honestly like and not dislike that much are horseback riding, swimming, skying in water and maybe...gymnastics? I'm not so sure about the last one since it's been over five years I haven't done that.

Uh... I don't know if it'll be awkward I go say this but... yes, I do get nervous whenever we talk... not so much when we talk by the phone but more like in person, word by word sort of thing... I tend to be afraid of you seeing I blush over everything... I am nervous of saying something you will find boring... I'm afraid and nervous of you hating my personality... I am afraid of getting too close to you and knowing you like someone... I'm afraid of you being with someone and feeling uncomfortable because you know I like you and well... yeah that situation of me wanting to be with someone who is already boyfriend of someone else is not only awkward, uncomfortable and most honestly mean...

I'm not too sure how to define mean... I don't mean it as actually being mean but more of like bothering and disturbing...?

Uh... what else? I have a mole in my left arm near the elbow (ps it's the same arm I broke when I was around six years old).

I like most types of music... as you probably know by now I like Kpop, my favorite group being BTS.
I like indie folk, lofi-chill music, I like really few regaetton songs... I like Spanish songs like Carla Morrison- Te regalo. I like some rock songs and bands because of my dad, and probably many more that I can't remember now...

If I had the courage to ask you... "Can you tell me things about you to get to know you" would you tell me? Would you feel uncomfortable? Would you feel like I want to know a lot about you when you don't have that much interest in me?

I hope that whatever the answer is... I will know at the end...