When God Says, What If? How Your Purpose Will Impact The World

Chapter 6 - Stay OFF the ladder!

Almost six years ago, my family moved from New York to Maryland for my husband's job. It turned out to be a blessing when my son chose a Maryland college that coincided with our move. It allowed me to deal with my first child leaving the nest in a somewhat easier way since I was able to go to most of his baseball games and have him home for some weekends and holidays.

But our move brought some other things to life that I hadn't anticipated. Moving to a place where you don't know anyone means you are constantly introducing yourself and your family to others. I found it kind of exciting at first to meet new people and seek to find people we had things in common with that hopefully would lead to friendship. While we did meet a lot of great people, one thing stood out rather sharply in a way I hadn't seen it before. Maybe it was due to all the new introductions that I saw it so vividly, but no matter what led to it, there it was.

What am I talking about? I am talking about the good old 'sizing you up' that happens frequently, or at least more frequently than I would like. It was crazy. My husband and I both noticed and actually then started tuning in to see how quick it was before people got to the few questions that cut to the chase. You know the, "so what do you do" questions. At first, you kind of see it innocently, but there is a lot of other probing questions that go along and then you get it. People are trying to figure out where you are on the earthly ladder of success. Are you above them or below is really all they want to know?

Don't get me wrong; some people really are trying to get to know you by their questions. But at some point there is recognition of earthly accomplishments that like it or not, result in determining our place on that darn ladder. It is important to mention that it isn't just others doing it to us; we are really good at doing it to ourselves. To be honest it is hard not to, given that we live in a world where there is a ranking system everywhere that you look that gives us an opportunity to apply judgment to others and to ourselves.

The homes that we live in, the cars that we drive, the professions we are in, unfortunately, seem to have a weight associated with them. I use the word weight as it is used in metrics for business, or in grading systems. Something is weighted as being more important than something else as you measure. It may be reasonable for statistics, but should we ever judge a human life that way? Of course not, yet we seem to with gusto!

In James 2:1 it says, "My Brethren, pay no servile regard to people [show no prejudice, no partiality]. Do not [attempt to] hold and practice the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ [the Lord] of glory [together with snobbery]!" Wouldn't it be amazing if every person on this planet lived according to this one scripture? What a world it would be if we treated each and every person with respect, love, and kindness regardless of their measure of success on the earthly ladder.

Sadly, there is still much judgment and criticism and with it comes comparing. I remember from my teen years and even into my early twenties how often I felt judgment, how often I was relegated to being less than, how often I was left not feeling very good about myself. Do you remember middle school and high school? Who is prettier, who is thinner, who is smarter, who plays on this team, who is the quarterback, who is the cheerleader, and on and on? In preparation for college, what school are you going to? What were your SAT scores? What scholarship did you get? In your early twenties post-graduation, where do you work? Where do you live? What car are you driving? This ridiculous ranking system exists at every level and sadly continues on even more prominently into adulthood.

It is also on display in the very competitive world we encourage for our kids. And no, I am not one of those people who think every person who competes should get an award, but what I am a proponent of is teaching our children what competition means and its place in this world. There is only 1 first place medal in any competition. But winning it doesn't make you better than others in life, yes in that competition you are first, but every success needs perspective and this is what I am teaching my children (and myself). I love to celebrate people who achieve greatness in their chosen endeavor. It shows discipline, tireless effort, consistency, determination and a full embracing of the gifts God has blessed that person with through His grace. We absolutely should celebrate. But what we have to do is to understand and teach ourselves, our children and the world that being first in something doesn't ever make us better as human beings. This is where I believe we fail.